George Carlin's Views on Aging
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get
old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so
excited about aging that you think in fractions.
'How old are you?' 'I'm four and a half!' You're never
thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five!
That's the key
You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to
the next number, or even a few ahead.
'How old are you?' 'I'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13,
but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life
. . You become 21. Even the words
sound like a ceremony . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened
there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw
him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's
wrong? What's changed?
You BECOME
21, you TURN 30, then you're
PUSHING
40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you
know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are
gone.
But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't
think you would!
So you BECOME 21,
TURN 30,
PUSH 40,
REACH 50
and MAKE
it to 60.
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a
day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!
You get
into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle;
you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30 ; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't
end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; 'I
Was JUST
92.'
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a
little kid again. 'I'm 100 and a half!'
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a
half!!
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential
numbers. This includes
age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is
why you pay 'them.'
2. Keep only cheerful
friends. The grouches
pull you down.
3. Keep learning.
Learn more about the computer, crafts,
gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the
devil's workshop.' And the
devil's
name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple
things.
5. Laugh
often, long and loud. Laugh until you
gasp for breath.
6. The
tears happen. Endure,
grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire
life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you
love, whether it's
family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.
Your home is your
refuge.
8. Cherish your
health: If it is good,
preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what
you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt
trips. Take a trip to
the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to
where the guilt is.
10.Tell the people you love that you
love them, at every
opportunity.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we
take,but by the moments that take our breath away.
