Everyone just wants to be happy. That's why people go on diets,
spend too much money for clothes, or suck up to popular people -
because they think it will make them happy! Happiness can be a
"comfortable-good" or an "excited-good" or a "chilled-out-good"
because it has many flavours and faces, depending on whom you are
with, or what you are doing. However, if you get to know all
different people, you will see what makes the happiest people
happy.
Steps
1. Change your thought process. If you catch yourself thinking that
things aren't going to work out, then think again. Remember that
most things work out better than you fear - so imagine that your
fears are ungrounded and that success is ahead. Rather than
thinking of the problems and getting desperate, imagine the best
outcome and then work out what you need to do to make that happen.
Follow your "inner guidance system." If the thoughts you are
thinking are not giving you a good feeling, then think about
something else that will make you feel good in that moment. Monitor
your thoughts consistently throughout the day. Sometimes this may
not be as easy as you think if you are stuck in a "negative" train
of thought and your brain chemicals are getting fired up and
forming an "anxiety or anger" pathway. Anxiety, fear and anger
patterns can be interrupted by focusing on doing a math problem,
counting backwards, counting in odd numbers, doing a sudoku puzzle,
etc. - this will dissipate the rush of chemicals that are making
you feel bad. Immediately then go back to picturing
scenes/remembering things/imagining, planning stuff that makes you
feel GOOD.
2. See the world for what it really is. You have friends and family
that love you. Learn How to be thankful. Think of all the things
you have to be happy about. Relax, calm down, take things slower.
No one has everything, and everyone has something of sorrow
intermingled with gladness of life. The trick is to make the
laughter outweigh the tears. We cannot change the past, but we can
enjoy today, and look to the future. But if we are prepared to take
credit for the past and accept that everything that happened in our
life, good and bad, has made us the person we are - the battle is
half won.
3. Lighten up. Don't take yourself too seriously. Stress can cause
many mental, physical, and spiritual problems in your life. One of
the major causes of stress is worrying about things that are out of
your control. Learn to recognize these things and if you can truly
do nothing about them, then just let them go. Take time to laugh at
yourself and the situations you find yourself in. Laughter is a
powerful, positive medicine and the calmer and more peaceful you
can take things, the happier your life will be.
4. Be yourself. You can't please everybody. Don't let criticism
worry you. Dont compare yourself to other people at work or in
your personal life. In the first place, no one knows what other
people are going through. More importantly, when you compare
yourself to other people, you always tend to see yourself on the
"short end". So this is never a good or helpful thing for you to
do. One way to get in touch with yourself is through journaling.
The goal is to open up completely to yourself and learn to be your
best friend by knowing that the truth (to yourself) will set you
free from fear! Practice self-acceptance no matter what. Never do
something you're not comfortable with. You'll respect yourself for
sticking to your guns, and that self-respect will make you
happy.
5. Make a scheduled time every day for relaxation. This is a good
time to go over any therapy that youre working on. Having a
"relaxation" time or a "quiet time" every day strengthens you,
allows the stress and tension in your life to evaporate, and keeps
you more on a positive, even keel.
6. Get a job you love. If you have a job you hate or dislike,
seriously consider changing your job, or even changing careers.
Having a job that makes you look forward to your day when you wake
up in the morning is critical to a happy, fulfilled life. Making
special time to enjoy interests, hobbies, and family, not only
makes life happier, but helps us be more productive on the
job.
7. Develop a strong relationship with your family. That includes
trust. If you are in an abusive family, you must find a way to stop
the abuse that may include separation. If you want a stronger
relationship with your family, you're going to need to be honest
with them. Tell your family about your life and don't insult them -
it hurts them just as much as it hurts you to be insulted.
8. Choose the right companion. Get involved with activities that
reflect who you are, and get to know people who like the things you
do. Don't rule out the Internet as a place to find a significant
other, just get to know them over the phone or through a few months
of emails before agreeing to a meeting in person.
9. Choose your friends carefully. Nearly everyone needs someone who
cares for them and treats them well. If you have friends who are
treating you badly, then ditch them and find friends that do care
about you. If you can't find any friends like that in your current
circumstances, then look elsewhere. If you're feeling sad, there's
nothing like going out with your friends to make you feel better.
Surround yourself with friends who are positive, encouraging, and
helpful. We all need this continuing, positive encouragement to
make solid positive progress in life.
10. Do what you can for those less fortunate than yourself.
Volunteer at a hospital or be a part of a program, which take care
of patients in some way. When you leave the hospital, you will be
so much happier knowing that you've done something meaningful,
something someone else can appreciate.
11. Wish the best for others and mean it. It is so easy to be
jealous and petty and forget to celebrate the good fortune of your
coworkers, friends and family.
12. Keep learning. Whether it is a new hobby or a new dance, just
keep learning something that interests you. Just find a new
interest and go for it!! It will give you something to keep you
occupied, and a new outlook on life.
13. Set goals. Live up to them. When you accomplish a goal, it's a
great feeling. If you put all your failures down to other people,
you put yourself in their power. Take responsibility for when
things go wrong in your life.
14. Be healthy. Give your body and mind what it most needs in order
to function in an "optimal" way. "Optimal" in this case means being
the healthiest you can be, and the most psychologically balanced
you can be. Eat a healthy, balanced diet and ensure that you get
all the vital vitamins and minerals that your body requires for its
optimal biochemical functioning. Supplement your diet with the
appropriate vitamins and minerals. Get plenty of exercise. This
will prompt the production of the "feel good" hormones that make
you feel happy (endorphins). Plus, there are all the other obvious
fitness and disease fighting benefits, too numerous to mention
here.
15. Strive for long term goals vs. short term satisfaction. It is
very easy to gain short term satisfaction, a quick high, a fast
relief from your current problems. But it is what it is , a "short
term" satisfaction, its effects die out very soon, leaving you
again with this empty feeling. Set long term goals, set a goal
which takes some time, some thought, some effort to achieve. This
will make you continually work towards improving yourself bit by
bit and will give you the satisfaction of bringing a permanent
change in your life. A permanent revolution.
