Luckily, the language contains several specific ways to make a line
of questioning more indirect. These may at first seem unnecessary
to students of Japanese, but learning some of the smaller,
"ornamental" aspects of the language can make your command of the
language more precise and help you win friends and influence the
locals.
When broaching a topic (particularly a delicate one), it's best to
start with a standard introductory clause that gives listeners time
to steel themselves for what is to come. This doesn't have to be a
complicated phrase. In fact, the simple "X (subject) nan
desu ga" ("X なんですが," "So about X") followed by a short pause
is all you need most of the time.
Say you want to ask your Japanese boss about the possibility of
taking time off during Golden Week so you can venture to Kyushu and
immerse yourself in one of the island's thousands of hot-spring
baths. You can start the conversation by saying, "Gōuruden uīku
nan desu ga . . . " ("ゴールデンウィークなんですが" "So about Golden
Week . . . "). By pausing, you're allowing the listener to take in
the information that you just gave them and predict what you are
going to say next. When your boss hears this, he or she is probably
thinking, "Dammit, not more time off." Regardless of the boss's
assessment, at least you didn't spring a surprise. And by giving
him or her enough time to make mental adjustments, you are working
within natural Japanese speech patterns and effectively increasing
your chances of getting that time off.
"X nan desu ga" is also an efficient way of starting a plain
inquiry in Japanese such as, "Getsuyōbi nan desu ga, nanji ni
Shinjuku ni ikeba ii desu ka?" (「月曜日なんですが、何時に新宿にいけばいいですか？」,
"So about Monday, what time should I go to Shinjuku?")
Japanese also features phrases a person can use to delay answering
a question. The next time you see someone interviewed on Japanese
television, pay attention to the way they respond to questions:
Almost invariably, the first thing they say is, "sō desu
ne" (そうですね). You may recognize this as a way to confirm that
something the speaker just said is true. For example, "Kyō wa
atsui desu ne." "Sō desu ne." (「 今日は暑いですね」 「 そうですね」
"It's hot today." "It sure is.") When responding to a question,
however, the phrase is used differently, and the meaning is
murkier.
Athletes are often asked how it felt to win a game: "Shiai ni
katte, donna kansō desu ka?" (「試合に勝って、どんな感想ですか 」, "How did it
feel to win?") Even for a question like this, without a definite
yes or no answer, the first thing out of your mouth should always
be, "sō desu ne," with slightly extended vowels on "sō" and "ne,"
as compared to the "sō desu ne" in the previous paragraph. (Sort of
like, "souuu desu neee.")
Depending on the intonation, the meaning of this version of "sō
desu ne" can vary from "That is an interesting question . . . " to
"Well, I am certainly flummoxed . . . " or possibly even "Excellent
question, you cheeky fellow." In reality, it doesn't mean much at
all, and you shouldn't force yourself to translate it into English:
Get used to using it in Japanese and develop a feel for what it
means in context. Not only does "sō desu ne" give you time to
consider how you will answer a question, it also shows the
questioner that you have done your due diligence and have actually
considered your answer before blurting out something that makes you
sound like a wacko.
Japan's a relatively accommodating country. While doing things "My
Way" here may earn you dirty looks for being overly direct, it
won't get you killed, which has actually happened a number of times
in the Philippines (Sinatra Song Often Strikes Deadly Chord, New
York Times, Feb. 6, 2010). Still, it is best to keep the song's
sentiments within the walls of a karaoke room. Instead, learn bells
and whistles of Japanese such as "X nan desu ga" and "sō desu ne."
They will help you live a life in Japan that's full. Of that I'm
certain.