1. Don’t
get mad at us if your bag doesn’t fit in an overhead
bin. There’s limited space on an airplane, and if your
bag doesn’t fit, we will do our best to find a space for it.
Getting upset with us when everyone is trying to find a space for
their bag isn’t going to make the process go any faster.
2. Stop
trying to sit in first class if you don’t have a
ticket. You make it awkward for everyone if you see an
open seat in first class and think it’s OK to sit there. We’re
going to have to ask you to move, and everyone is going to watch as
it happens, and you will have to walk back to your actual seat in
shame.
3. Don’t
leave your computer out during takeoff because you’re “working on
something important.” Don’t make us come to your seat
and fight with you to put your laptop away. It’s the rules that you
have to put away large electronics. We’re not there to interrupt
your work, especially because you were told in advance that you
need to put that away.
4. Stop
ignoring our safety demonstrations in the beginning of the
flight. We’re not telling you what to do in case of an
emergency for the fun of it. Our job is to make sure that if
something does happen, we can get everyone to safety as quickly as
possible. Give us that respect and take your headphones out - for
less than five minutes - to hear what we have to say.
5. Don’t
come up to us in the middle of boarding and ask for a cup of
water. Boarding is an extremely chaotic time. We’re
trying to get everyone in their correct seats, find space in
overhead bins, and then close all of the overhead bins, so we can
close the airplane door and leave the gate. We also don’t start getting paid until the aircraft
door is shut, so we would appreciate if you bring a water
bottle or wait until things get settled to ask us.
6. Don’t
snap your fingers at us or poke us to get our
attention. We will refill your drink or answer your
question, but there’s no need to be rude or to invade our personal
space. If you think we skipped your row when taking drink orders,
we didn’t. We bring the cart a few rows past you to take more
orders at once.
7. Save
your complicated orders for a restaurant. Do not come
on the plane and expect us to have a fully-stocked bar and five
types of coffee. If you come on a plane asking for two shots of
Patron or a double macchiato, you’re probably going to be
disappointed. And if you are, please don’t flip out on us.
8. When
we’re taking your order, please take off your
headphones. It can get really annoying when you have a
row of three people, and each one says, “What?” when you ask them
for their drink order because they still had on their
headphones.
9. If you
have dietary restrictions, don’t expect us to have everything you
need on the flight, especially if you don’t let us know in
advance. We will try to accommodate dietary
restrictions like being gluten- or dairy-free, but we might not
have everything you need. Sometimes food runs out, or the plane is
switched out last minute and your special food isn’t on put on the
plane. It’s always best to bring something with you that you can
eat, just in case we don’t have something for you. And if you
didn’t request a special meal in advance, don’t expect us to have
your vegan or gluten-free option – we’re not a Whole Foods.
10. Do not walk into
the bathroom with socks on or barefoot. We know how
often they clean the bathroom floor, which is close to never. That
liquid you see on the ground? It’s not water. Please wear your
shoes into the bathroom.
11. Stop changing
your baby’s diaper on the tray table. The tray tables
are rarely cleaned, if ever. People eat, sleep, and work on those
tables, and changing your baby’s diaper on it is extremely
unsanitary, especially for everyone who uses the table after you.
We get that it can be easier to do it there but please use the
provided changing tables.
12. Don’t hand us
your snotty tissues, dirty diapers, or toenail
clippings. We don’t want to touch your or your child’s
bodily functions. Throw it out when we come around with a trash
bag.
13. If you need to
take anti-anxiety medication or sleeping pills, don’t mix alcohol
with it. We totally understand the need to take
medication, but mixing it with alcohol can have really intense side
effects. You might do some things you normally wouldn’t, like fight
with other passengers, take off your clothes, or wander around the
plane like a zombie.
14. In general, go
easy on the alcohol. You don’t want to be that person
who gets stopped at the gate or kicked off the plane before takeoff
because you’re too drunk to fly. This also goes for when the plane
is in the air. Oxygen levels are lower during a flight than on the
ground, which can make it more difficult to metabolize those few
glasses of wine. You might know your limits with alcohol at the bar
but the conditions are different in the air.
15. Keep your
electronic cigarette in your bag until you’re off the
plane. You’re not allowed to smoke on planes, but some
people think it’s OK to take a puff of their electronic cigarette
once the plane has landed and we’re taxiing back to the gate,
despite the fact that e-cigs are also prohibited on airplanes. If
we see smoke in the cabin, we have to prepare for the fact that
it’s dangerous, inform the captain, and possibly prepare to
evacuate as soon as possible. So save everyone the panic and keep
your e-cig in your pocket.
16. Don’t watch porn
or look at Playboy on the
plane. You’d be surprised at how often we see this. We
get that it’s your “right” to watch or read what you want, but it’s
really inappropriate to be looking at that when anyone, especially
children, could walk past and see it. Have a little respect for
your seatmate and those around you.
17. Don’t assume
that your flight attendant is trying to ruin your day by enforcing
the rules. Our main goal is to keep you safe. We’re not
just here to serve drinks and throw away your trash. We’re trained
in how to evacuate the plane, how to respond in a medical
emergency, how to de-escalate situations; we’re not trying to make
your life harder by telling you to put away your laptop or keep
your seatbelt on. We’re there to keep everyone safe and make sure
you have comfortable flight, and we hope passengers can respect
that.
From Cosmopolitan