I mention we hardly talk...
even over phone... its really once a week ... but i understand
lah.
Then he said its because we are together more often
yeah, we are together more often, watching TV and not
talking.
He sit in his side and watch,
I sit on my side and watch. There is no talking, no touching. Like
2 strangers sitting together beside each other. When its time, one
will go off. Actually sometimes I am happy I am left alone... so
that I can do wat I want.
Its difficult to approach such things without him getting angry,
coming back with hurtful retorts and getting it all bent out of
shape and then I have to back down, admit that I am wrong &
apologise and then lower my expectations. Right now, I hit rock
bottom. I don't expect anything and can't. I have come to the
conclusion that I will eventually move away. Looking forward to
owning my own flat. I am just empty and tired.
Its like plants.. you gotta water and nurture it then it will grow
more. If you keep pulling out the leaves and do not water it, keep
taking and taking from it ... the plant will eventually die..... I
felt dead inside. Its been a long time now... You know, he said I
did not keep a happy face in front of his relatives (they b!tch
about these things) but to me, I didn't want to put in effort to
even be nice..
