Duff McKagan (Guns N Roses, Velvet Revolver, and Loaded) has
stated that he is developing a memoir of his life. With McKagan’s
entry into the world of autobiographies, this makes three members
(Duff, Slash, and Steven Adler) from the original GN’R lineup to
venture into the memoir business. Given Izzy Stradlin’s need to
stick to his independent roots, no one is holding their breath over
IZZY, which would have to be the title, right? That leaves us with
W. Axl Rose.
The Axl memoir is interesting to many because of three factors.
First, at times, Rose has maintained a semi-reclusive life,
vanishing from a spotlight he once dominated. Second, few have had
as many “what were they thinking?” moments as Axl. This is a
perfect output for his side of the story. Finally, there is the
good versus evil, love versus insanity, caring versus destructive
natures (often in the same breath) through both his music and
performances. Would all the answers be revealed in a “tell all”
book? Of course not, it would probably confuse fans more, but in
good natured fun, let’s look at some potential titles for this book
that will never see the light of day.
10. (My Band is) OUT TO GET ME
A band, millions of dollars, paranoia.
9. AXL, THROUGH THE WORDS OF THE COURT
A two thousand page book of court documents: Ranging from the GNR
name, royalties, and other lawsuits. Axl includes footnotes that
often include the word bullshit.
8. CHINESE DEMOCRACY: THE CONTRIBUTORS
Essentially, a list of band members, managers, and other
contributors to the latest GNR album. A surprising long read at 642
pages.
7. APPETITE FOR RECONSTRUCTION: A look at facial surgery and
cranium accessories
Chapters include: Oversized Aviators, The Art of Corn Rows part I,
The Boxers, Kilts, and The Art of Corn Rows part II.
6. PARADISE CITY: Omaha, Nebraska
Using his experience on the road, Axl shocks all with his claim
that Paradise is in a small town named Omaha.
5. MY CIVIL WAR: A list
A list of names Rose is either unhappy with, has a problem with, or
seeks revenge. Also, not a quick read.
4. PATIENCE: The Making of Chinese Democracy
A day by day look into the diary of Axl Rose from 1995 through
2007, sold in three volumes.
3. AXL: THE CONCERT RANTS
All of the favorites are captured here: Warren Beatty, Scott
Weiland, the fans that blink during “November Rain,” everyone in
the media and so on.
2. FASHIONABLY LATE: The Axl Rose story
A handbook on how to be a rock star today. Lesson # 1: Don’t leave
the hotel until the show is suppose to start. #2: If even one fan
is out of line, stop the show. Everyone will understand.
1. ASIAN FUSION
Disappointing his fans, Axl says, “fuck it” and writes a cook
book.