One of the most compelling aspects of heavy metal is undoubtedly
the imagery. It's nearly impossible to think about the movement
without having a mental picture of the artwork found within it.
Whether it's unmistakable mascots like Iron
Maiden's Eddie or Motörhead's War-Pig or
Cannibal Corpse's blood orgies disguised as album
covers, metal and extreme visuals go together like stress and
taxes.
Although we've been graced with tons of unquestionably classic
images throughout the years, metal has also produced some utter
garbage in the cover art department. Most of the time these crimes
have been committed by lesser acts within the fringes, that doesn't
mean some of our heroes haven't let us down. MetalFreak
presents a list of 10 worst album covers from otherwise killer
bands.
Pantera
'Metal Magic' (1983)
We all can relate to being embarrassed by photos from our teen
years. We have to keep that in mind when looking at the cover of
Pantera's debut album, 'Metal Magic.' At the time of the record's
release, the late great 'Dimebag' Darrell was only 17 years old. He
was actually going under the name 'Diamond' Darrell back then, and
the band was playing something closer to the Sunset Strip-approved
hard rock of Van Halen than the thrashy groove
metal of their later work. We just don't understand how the cover
art for 'Metal Magic' got approved by the guys in the band. There's
no way in hell that Phil Anselmo would have been cool with this if
he were in the band yet. It looks like something Napoleon Dynamite
would have drawn up in his movie. Is it a liger?
Morbid Angel
'Domination' (1995)
After unleashing fantastic covers for albums like 'Blessed Are the
Sick' and 'Altars of Madness,' how could Morbid Angel do their
fans, and themselves, like this? The front of 'Domination' looks
like a rejected cover for an Insane Clown Posse
mixtape. Even though they kept their iconic band logo plastered
onto the left corner, the cover still doesn't conjure up feelings
of the kind of adrenalized death metal found inside it. The
mucus-like color scheme and dated computer graphics do not help the
cause either.
'Chameleon' (1993)
Words like 'uninspired' and 'lifeless' come to mind when looking at
this Helloween album cover. Was the color flag image culled from
rejected submissions for the 1992 Summer Olympics advertising
campaign? Is this the same metal powerhouse responsible for the
'Keeper of the Seven Keys' saga? Then again, Helloween also gave
the world 'Pink Bubbles Go Ape' just a couple of years prior to
this wretch. The band luckily rebounded in the art, and for that
matter, the music department, later on in their career.
'Shotgun Justice' (1990)
This looks like a bad artist rendering of some obscure
straight-to-VHS Mexican action film poster from 1981. Razor are one
of the most underrated metal bands of the 1980s but this cover for
'Shotgun Justice' fails on so many levels. They would have better
off just using a photo of Charles Bronson or some other action film
icon to get their point across. OK, that might have been costly to
clear. But surely there must have been other options. Couldn't they
have just had a contest where fans submitted artwork? That would
have definitely produced better results than this.
'Wolf' (2000)
This Swedish combo loves their metal the old-school,
Accept and Metal Church kind of
way and they do a tremendous job of infusing it into their
songwriting. We're just not sure what they were thinking when they
greenlit the cover artwork for their self-titled 2000 album.
Couldn't they have found a better drawing of a wolf somewhere? Not
even the most hardcore Wolf fan would wear a T-shirt emblazoned
with this laughable image.
'Dance of Death' (2003)
This one is a hot mess! It's so ghastly that artist David Patchett
wanted his name off the final credits. Supposedly he had turned the
cover image into the band as a prototype but Iron Maiden decided to
run it as is. According to a Maiden fan site, there are several
errors on the cover too. Why the legendary metal titans don't work
with their original artist Derek Riggs is a mystery but crap like
'Dance of Death' makes his absence all the more obvious.
'Born Too Late' (1987)
Although these Californians have gone on to influence countless
bands since their start in 1979, the cover artwork for their 'Born
Too Late' album is incredibly misleading. Forbearers of the
stoner/sludge rock scene, St. Vitus have always looked like a gang
of PCP-crazed bikers but the hot pink sleeve on this 1987
collection is more Enuff Z'nuff than it is
Steppenwolf.
Artillery
'Terror Squad' (1987)
This Danish speed metal outfit never cracked the States but it
wasn't for a lack of top-notch material. Albums such as 'By
Inheritance' and 'Terror Squad' are worth seeking if you enjoy
bands like Megadeth and Heathen.
Unfortunately for everyone, the cover art for the latter album is a
visual atrocity. Is that a cop holding a gigantic sewer rat? Wait,
is that doctor really chasing the rat with a hypodermic needle? Did
a little kid sketch this out with colored pencils? The biggest
offence of this entire debacle is that another label reissued
'Terror Squad' in 2008 and didn't change the artwork! Talk about a
squandered opportunity.
'Narita' (1979)
In 1979 the art department at Capitol Records must have been out of
their collective minds. The cover for Riot's 'Narita' album is
evidence of that. Yes Noisecreep nation that IS a sumo wrestler
with the head of a seal. The N.Y.C. metal pioneers crafted some
blistering records throughout their three-decade-long discography,
but you would be hard pressed to find anyone on the planet that
digs the cover for 'Narita.'
'Ultra Beatdown' (2008)
The artwork for DragonForce's 'Ultra Beatdown' looks like a mix of
a bad video game from 1986 and the cover of an obscure hair metal
EP. This album cover would lose in a fight against a Cattle
Decapitation one. We don't have anything more to say about
pick.
<!-- email -->