A peek into the future / my
dream
It has been so long since I've experienced such a strong sense of
emotion. Of late only happiness and some anger if I permits it to
grow... So long since I last really felt 'upset'. So very long even
since I last cried. Little do I expect it to come in my dream...
Knowing always been that my dream is make up of my daily visual
experience... Like the last time I ever cried so hard in my dream..
It's SO REAL that even after one has woke up from it, it's just so
hard not to believe it's real... Have I really dreamt because I've
peeked into the future...? Have I dreamt because I need to know...?
The need to know what would be going on in my future? Or a need to
know that I'm still able to feel....? A need to cry because I've
long lost this part of my emotions...?
I woke with this 3rd attempt at my already broken down lap top. Not
daring to turn on the lights... Afraiding that everything would
just go away too quickly... On this dark groomy moring... Raining
day it has been, mosquito attacking me... Yet I dare not bring on
the light to face it. Reality, too quickly it shall wash away
everything within me... Just days before my birthday, a perfect
gift for me....?
I was in a building. One which I afterwards tried to recall, seems
to be of significant green. Large balcony like those of Vivocity
facing the sea... Spiral staircase by the side leading up this tall
building... Try very hard though as to dismiss it. I couldn't help
but to think all these just parts of formulations of my daily
lives..
I was with a lady who doesn't really look like who she is today. A
baby of ours. I've later thought the reason why she didn't look
like who she is today is because this is naturally somewhere in the
future... She looked somewhere in her early 40s... The baby felt
young. If not, I've hardly got to see the baby anytime before...
Very unfamilar to me.
Then there was this accident and the building collapsed. Is this
purely a dream? I recall of the recent earthquake episodes in
Indonesia. Is this what it just is? Make up of my daily memories
and anticipation?
Alot of us went 'down'. It was a strange journey which happened too
quickly. We went on a strange trip through a few obstacles.. Some
just lost themselves along the way.. While a couple of us who see
it through to the end of the journey came to this tricky wooden
slab trick floating above the dark water just before our final
destination....
Our arrival. Then each of us were asked by turn of what we wish to
request for. A chance to go back to the existing land where we came
from? Or a chance for reincarnation? We then pour personal item we
use quickly into a swirling small dark pond of water.... Before a
dark figure in hood. Some of us (like myself) do not have personal
item with us, so it just squeeze a green color paste out of what
seems like a colgate toothpaste.
My turn. Then it happened. Many before me had opted not to go back
to their existing world. Is it just too sad for them to go back? Or
they just wish to try something new? I thought I've lived my life
long enough to get bored of it too? Perhaps I should really try
living a new me and a completely new life of its own...? As people
made funny cries for a 'good life', 'healthy life' or 'millionaire
life'... It sounded more and more like they're the ones who are
dreaming.... By the time it's my turn... I thought of her. And I
would really wish to go back to her in this existing world. To see
who's baby she might be carrying with her. I asked of the others.
"Don't you just wish to see your loved one(s) anymore?"
I opted to return. The swirl absorbed the green paste the
mysterious figure put in for me... What seems like minutes but
quickly, I was told I would be reincarnated into a different life.
Someone 'ugly'. (Well, after I've checked.. Not really that ugly?)
Someone strong and powerful. (Physically and politically) I was
told then that I would be 'introduced' to myself. Saw myself got
into a fight with another big guy. Strange thing is that I seems to
be looking from a 3rd person's view and the 1st party perspective
at the same time. 'I' got into a nasty fight. But soon enough a
bunch of guys in suits walked over and took the guy away for an
even more nasty beating... They then brought him to see their
'head'. Who was smiling at me by the time which... I was following
quite closely behind their trail... Just to walk to an open stair
on the beach to collect a copy of the newspaper...
Then I was brought back before the dark figure behind the swirling
pond.... That's when I was told to reflect on my own life. And told
I don't deserve to get back into it. Might as well live a new life.
Where I pleaded with it and started to cry.... So very much just
because of her....
The next moment I just found myself teleported onto a train....
Where I sat crying... Wondering what would she have opted for? And
would I ever get to see her again.... She appeared shortly just
behind me on the train. Explained that she has opted to 'go on' to
the next life.... I told her 'but....' She then quickly just
vanished....
I arrived in a room. We were given an 'identity card' much bigger
than expected. We were then told to quickly look for signs of clues
given from that 'card' from within the room, move along and follow
the hints and instructions... At least I didn't wanted to as this
wasn't my option. But things happened too quickly that I didn't
seems to have much of a choice. My 'spirit' felt weak as if I was
disappearing. I just had to act fast...
I quickly followed a few clues through and got sort of
hypnotised.... The next thing I know, I found myself of the bed.
Next to the girl who is now one of the closest to me.
Uncontrollably, I just started to cry..... So much... Only this
time unlike in my dream, it was real... She looked at me a little
dazed... Tried to comfort me.... I couldn't speak a word but to
cry... Wondering and confused as to which part of it is really a
dream.... So very glad yet shocked to find that I've actually been
given a chance to 'come back'.... From what I thought was
impossible but a straight journey away from all this....
I hugged her close, not willing to let go.... What I've wanted so
much to come back for.... She kept asking me not to cry....
Although I've later explained and she assured me that it's only a
dream...
And I've figured too many things from within it were just like
parts and parcels of visual memories from within my own life.... It
could have easily explained why I can piece up and experienced such
a dream... One thing I couldn't quite figured is.... Why that
'format'? Why that particular content which I'm totally stranger to
and have no previous experience of....? And it just all seems to
much of a 'coincidence'....
Somehow I just couldn't help but to think that some of our dreams
are here to deliver a message or 2.... And that they previously
didn't appear simply because they lack the 'bridge' / language or
building blocks for that to happen......
