the way i see it, too many parents blame the school and MOE when
they precious children fail..... sure the system is imperfect, but
what i like to know is: how many of such parents take personal
ownership of mentoring their children.
i actually have to tell my older son (Sec 3 this year) NOT to
study too late.
i also actually see my younger son extremely motivated when he
is doing his PSLE preparation this year....
why is that so?
because instead of looking for the fall-guy, i choose to think
that the buck stops with me. it is up to me to motivate my children
to study and to work hard.
i know of a colleague who constantly blame the school for his
son's failings. his perception is that it is the school's
responsibility to motivate his son. i think that's wrong, it's the
school's role to EDUCATE the children, it's up to the family to
MOTIVATE them to excel.
i think educating and motivating our kids is our responsibility.
the school is a facilitor in this equation.
unless you know what your children's are made of, i.e.
temperament, steady type or kan-chiong type, etc., it is hard to
provide the right level of support. as parent, we must be able to
see and read them quickly and change if we must to do the right
thing for them.
mine is a classic example. both my kids did well in their
previous school. so, i up the ante and initiated a transfer to a
so-called `top' school. they passed the entrance exam and were
posted there last year. however, in the last 2 years, i noticed
they were miserable in school. the grades too dropped, altho' i can
confirmed that their teachers told me that they typically set very
difficult questions to condition their pupils for the main exam.
their homework load is tremendous. they can hardly catch up on
their work so me supplementing them with MY homework for them is
definitely putting additional strain on them.
i realized i made a fatal mistake in this case. i am pulling
them out of the school.
perhaps my kids do not have that kind of temperament for the
environment the school provide. or they are not as smart as i
thought they are. regardless, i rather they have a childhood that
is happy and not be reminded of their early years as one of
struggle.
in the final analysis, we parents just need to do the right
thing. our meritocratic driven society coupled with the kiasu-ness
in most parents unfortunately will ensure that the current system
will (still) prevail.
