"Kids' Little Instructions On Life" What Insight!
*"Never smart off to a teacher whose eyes and ears are twitching."
- Andrew, Age 9
*"Wear a hat when feeding seagulls." - Rocky, age 9
*"Sleep in your clothes so you'll be dressed in the morning." -
Stephanie, age 8
*"Don't flush the john when your dad's in the shower." - Lamar, age
10
*"Never ask for anything that costs more than $5 when your parents
are doing taxes." - Carrol, age 9
*"Never bug a pregnant mom." - Nicholas, age 11
*"Don't ever be too full for dessert." - Kelly, age 10
*"When your dad is mad and asks you, 'Do I look stupid?' don't
answer him."- Heather, age 16
*"Never tell your mom her diet's not working." - Michael, age
14
*"Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat." -
Joel, age 12
*"When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when
she's on the phone." - Alyesha, age 13
*"Never try to baptize a cat." - Laura, age 13
*"Never spit when on a roller coaster." - Scott, age 11
*"Never do pranks at a police station." - Sam, age 10
*"Beware of cafeteria food when it looks like it's moving." - Rob,
age 10
*"Never tell your little brother that you're not going to do what
your mom told you to do." - Hank, age 12
*"Remember you're never too old to hold your father's hand." -
Molly, age 11
*"Listen to your brain. It has lots of information." - Chelsey, age
7
*"Stay away from prunes." -Randy, age 9
*"Never dare your little brother to paint the family car." -
Phillip, age 13
*"Forget the cake, go for the icing." - Cynthia, age 8
*"Remember the two places you are always welcome-church and
Grandma's house." - Joanne, age 11
*"When you want something expensive, ask your grandparents." -
Matthew, age 12
There is a new commander of a base of the French Foreign Legion,
and the Captain is showing him around all the Buildings. After he
has made the rounds the Commander looks at the Captain and says,
"Wait a minute. You haven't shown me that small one over there.
What's that used for?" The Captain says, "Well sir, you see that
there are no women around. Whenever the men feel the need of a
woman, they go there and use the camel. Enough!" says the
Commander in disgust. Well, two weeks later, the Commander himself
starts to feel in need of a woman. He goes to the Captain and
say's, "Tell me something, Captain." Lowering his voice and
glancing around, he asks, "Is the camel free anytime soon?" The
Captain says, "Well, let me see." He opens up his book. "Why, yes,
sir, the camel is free tomorrow afternoon at two o'clock." The
Commanders says, "Put me down for two o'clock then." So the next
day at two o'clock the commander goes to the little blue building
and opens the door. There inside he finds the cutest camel he's
ever seen. Right next to the camel is a little step stool, so he
closes the door behind him and puts the step stool directly behind
the camel. He stands on the stool, drops his pants, and begins to
have sex with the camel. A minute later the Captain walks in.
"Ahem, begging your pardon, sir," says the Captain, "but wouldn't
it be wiser to ride the camel into town and find a woman like all
the other men?
