Hey
Doc,
I have a bit of a
quandary here. I've been dating Larissa off and on for four
months. On the first date she told me it takes a long time for her
to consider something a relationship. At that time I was not
the proud owner of "The System." I set dates while I was on a date
with Larissa. I didn't wait a week to contact her between dates. It
wasn't until a month later, after she told me she wasn't interested
in a relationship or dating, that I ditched my ego, purchased your
book and became a member of the Doc Love Club. I saw EVERYTHING
that I did wrong with Larissa. I allowed my Interest Level to
skyrocket while hers plummeted.
After a month alone
with your book and hustling new phone numbers, I was
constantly troubled by what could have been with Larissa
had I had "The System." So, violating the "BACK (YOU CAN'T GO)"
principle, I called Larissa. We went out and had a great time.
Since then we've gone out three more times, and each time I have
watched her Interest Level rise because of my use of your
techniques.
Everything is going
great, Doc. Like you say, she is going to do what she wants, when
she wants to do it and with whom. I have been able to relax and let
things come more naturally and on her terms. She really does have
to think that it's all her idea -- again, just like you
say.
I don't want you to
think that I am just being a sap for Larissa. I am out one night a
week hustling new phone numbers and dating other girls, and I am
seeing Larissa once every two weeks.
So here's my question. Larissa and I went out last night and, like
always, we laughed and had a great time. Towards the end of the
night she turned to me and invited me to her two birthday parties.
One is a barbeque at her house and one is at a club for a dance
party. She said that all of her friends are invited but I am
getting a SPECIAL invite. I take this as incoming, but I don't know
if I should go because I won't be on a date with her at either
party. On the other hand, she may consider it rude if I don't show
up to at least one of these bashes. Larissa is chased by a lot of
guys, and I am a bit of an outsider to her social circle, so I
don't know what to expect should I show up to either or both of
these parties.
What should I
do?
Igor - who is a true
believer
Hi
Igor,
Larissa told you
outright that it takes a long time for her to consider something a
relationship. So why didn't common sense enter your mind and tell
you to SLOW DOWN? You were given a fair warning right upfront,
weren't you? Look again at the name of my column, pal - WOMEN DON'T
LIE AND MEN DON'T LISTEN. It's amazing to me that you didn't heed
Larissa's warning - or mine - and TAKE IT SLOW with her the first
time around.
You started out by
breaking a rule, and then you went and broke another rule by
calling Larissa after she told you she really wanted nothing to do
with you. So all you're doing here is breaking rules, dude. You
don't have my book and you break rules, you get the book and you
break rules. You're not listening and you're not paying attention
to what you read. Like the great Doctor Freud once said, "Some men
just don't want to be coached."
I hate to have to
tell you this, Igor, but Larissa's Interest Level isn't
rising. Her interest in you is still below 50%. When she went out
with you for a few weeks she learned all she needed to know about
Igor. She can't erase
that knowledge now. She can't forget all the mistakes you
made even though you're making none now (though you did make
another major one by trying to go back when the rule says you
can't!).
Just who do you
think you're kidding here, Igor? Of course you're just being a sap
for Larissa. She told you she didn't want anything to do with you
and yet you insist on hanging around her. Like my cousin Sal "The
Fish" Love says, "If sticking to her like an insect to flypaper
ain't the definition of a pushover, I don't know what
is."
Let's look a little
more closely at what you're doing now. You're seeing Larissa only
once every two weeks. If she really dug you, if she had any kind of
hot interest in you, she would insist on seeing you at least once a
week. So you're not seeing enough of this girl to make this
something that's going to actually go somewhere. This situation is
what we call a "retread." It's like an old tire, which isn't as
good as a new Michelin. Larissa's just going out with you to fill
time, guy, because she doesn't have anyone else right now. Like my
cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, "If there was someone
she liked, she wouldn't be dating you." And we already know she
doesn't like you, right?
It's actually good
that you won't be on a date with Larissa at her birthday parties.
For one thing, it would be a group date, which is a big NO-NO, and
for another, it gives you the chance to hustle other babes. Like my
cousin General Love says, "Soldier, you have to learn to see the
openings on the battlefield." Since you've got nothing going with
Larissa, you're going to attend both the barbecue and the dance
party and you're going to be cordial to the hostess. Then you're
going to hustle her best-looking girlfriends and get as many phone
numbers as you can. Like my cousin Brother Love down in Watts says,
"Bro, you're gonna turn her birthday blasts to your
advantage."
And when you show up
to these parties, you're going to be the best-dressed man there.
You're going to stand out in the crowd when you hustle Larissa's
friends and you're going to forget about her because she's already
forgotten about you.
Remember, guys: you
get one shot per girl per lifetime.