Hey
Doc,
I've been looking
your columns and trying to find a situation close to mine. Most of
the other men's situations are missing my key problem -- the other
guy.
I met Alita through
my best friend two months ago. We've gone out for drinks and hung
out on many occasions. There is definitely a strong attraction
between us. Every date ends with a heavy make-out session, but our
relationship never goes further because she says she has a
boyfriend, so it's understandable. But what I don't understand is
that if Alita is willing to tell me -- and show me for that matter
-- the way she feels about me, then why is the boyfriend even an
issue? I don't expect any type of relationship to come of
this, but I just don't want be led on time and time again, only to
be shot to the curb at the end of the summer when she goes
back to school (which is where her boyfriend
lives).
I told Alita, "Well,
I just wish I wasn't being put into the friend zone," and she
replied that she didn't want to put me in the friend zone. Her next
statement really got me, though. She said "I want things to just
stay the same until I finish school, then we'll see what
happens."
Doc, what am I doing
wrong? How can I make this work? This is the girl every
man wants to marry, be with, love, etc., and God knows I would do
what it takes to make it work. Should I give up
hope?
Drazen - who's going
crazy over her
Hi
Drazen,
While it's true that
I give you guys a ton of information in my columns, I also hold
back a lot by necessity - because of the constraints of time and
space. The vital, deeper information is in my book, "The System."
Unless you own and
memorize that essential volume, you're never going to successfully
put all of this information together and make it work. Why?
Because "The System" is the combination to the safe that
contains the truth. Like my cousin Rabbi Love says, "The
Dating Dictionary is the Bible of Romance. You'll never know
the commandments of love without it."
You don't hang out
with girls, Drazen. You date them. But hold it right here.
You're telling me that you're falling for a girl who already
has a boyfriend? What you don't seem to realize is that Alita
is NOT AVAILABLE. When you meet a girl, you have to pass the
Physical Attraction Test, she has to have at least 51% Interest
Level in you, and she CANNOT have a boyfriend. Without having ALL
of these requirements fulfilled, you can't do anything with
her.
To you Psych majors,
if a girl has a boyfriend and she's kissing you, all you're ever
going to be is a Boy Toy, somebody she plays with on the side while
the other guy isn't around. So what this means, Drazen, is that
Alita is using you and misleading you and
giving you false hope. Or like my cousin Fast Eddie Love
from East L.A. says, "This woman is no good." She has no character.
She has no honesty. She has no Loyalty. She has no Integrity. You
can't trust her. Otherwise, she's great! And by the way, how do you
think her boyfriend would feel if he found out that you were making
out with his girl? But of course most men in America are weak when
it comes to women, so he wouldn't have the guts to get rid of her
anyway.
You ask why Alita's
boyfriend is even an issue. Let me explain it to you: if she really dug you, she would
break up with that guy. But he's an idiot, and you're an
idiot, so she'll continue stringing the two of you along until she
gets more bored with the both of you than she already is. Making
out with one guy isn't enough for Alita. Like the great Doctor
Freud once said, "If she has two guys, she can try to fill that
empty hole of low self-esteem inside her which can never be
filled." And by the way, what makes you so sure that you and
Alita's boyfriend are the only two turkeys she's got on the line?
What if she's flirting with and emailing other guys around the
country?
Getting shot to the
curb when she goes back to her boyfriend is exactly what's going to
happen to you, dude. So you've got your answer right there - you're
not as dumb as I thought you were.
Drazen, this babe is
not putting you into the friend zone. She's making out with you,
isn't she? She has feelings for you. And she has feelings for the
other guy, whose arms she'll be in again as soon as she moves out
of town. And guess what? Odds are you'll never see her
again.
I know Alita's
telling you that she wants to see what will happen, but nothing's
ever going to happen. But I have to give Alita this: she sure has
gall to tell you up front that she's just using you. But of course
with your sky-high Interest Level and your ego, you can't even see
it and so like a fool you accept it. Plus, of course, you don't
have my book, so you don't know which end is
up.
What are you doing
wrong? Well, when a girl has a boyfriend, like I said before, she's
really not in the ballgame at all. How can you make this work? Like
my cousin Sal "The Fish" Love says, "Hire a hit man and kill the
boyfriend." That's the only way you're going to have a chance with
this gem every guy wants to marry, love, be with,
etc.
Should you give up
hope? Like my cousin General Love says, "Soldier, this thing was
dead in the water before it even started."
Remember, guys: if
she has a boyfriend, she's not available.