I want to ask you all, if you are interested in somebody, and
you don't have the guts to ask her out, how did you do it?
I always find myself in two situations, first, I accidentaly ask
a girl who is already attached, and after that I feel embarassed
that I didn't ask her background.
Second, when I do find somebody interesting, I always get flame.
Is it always like this, for you people who are attached? Do guys
have to get flame first before he gets the girl? I don't think it
is normal for men to get attack by his peers for trying to get to
know the girl better unless the girl doesn't like him. Is this a
normal thing? Have a relationship ever blossom from friendship. I
mean, has anyone ever tried to call up a girl he is interested in,
and then try to conversate with her, after that ask her out for a
cup of coffee? Maybe she come out, maybe she won't. Or maybe
afterward, our peer friends will find out (somehow) and make fun of
me. I just don't know, the whole process is so confusing.
Sometimes, to have guts, you lose a lot of friends over a girl, I
felt better for me to be conservative. It is also hard to find a
girl we like, it seems that the men don't have the luxury to pick
who he wants to be with.
I find in our asian society nowadays, so hard to find the
opposite sex. We are always busy at work and our social life is
getting more narrower and our friends getting fewer. So, it is hard
to meet people. In Asia society, there is not many associations we
can join to meet people. Whereas, in Western culture, it is easier
to meet people, because they have many charitable org like Oxfam
and others where you can get involve and meet people. Here in Asia,
people tend to be more conservative.
And then also, in western culture, they have more divorcees, so
they have more opportunities to meet someone later on. There is a
secondary market there. In Asia, divorcees are shunned and if
single men try to date divorcee women their age, their families
won't approve of it. It is more forgivable and acceptable in the
west, to have divorcees and then divorcees are not so demanding,
because they underwent the first marriage, they now know, the
imperfection of their spouse, so they willing to accept your
defects and mistakes.
I just find Singaporean women is so demanding. Not only it is
hard to find someone, because there is no avenue or place where we
can meet people but also, women tend to want to place high
requirements. Even if go past the dating stage, there is still the
relationship stage to contend with, where she will evaluate how
well you can provide her a home and how good a husband and
father you can be. I mean, even if I have the basic 5c, a lot of
guys will still beat me to the girl. Because she always want the
best guy. Sigh, so difficult to find a suitable partner.
if you are interested in a girl. you need to muster up the
courage. if you don't swing you can never hit. when you first see
her, strike a casual conversation with her, try to build some
rapport first. about less than 5 mins into the conversation, ask
her for her phone number.once you get her phone number, you say
"nice talking to you" and you leave.
you don't need to feel embarrased at all and you should not find
out her background first. just ask her for her number. if she is
attached/married she will let you know.
if your peers attack you for getting to know a girl, you should
not consider them your friends anymore because they are not worth
it. and first of all, you should never let any of your peers know
anything about your love life because all of them have big mouths
and they cannot keep secrets. and if they also like the same girl
as you do, they will not want to see you succeed in getting her.
they will be envious and jealous and do all sorts of funny things
to make sure you do not succeed in getting her.
well, you can
pick but they can choose. you need to build up your own self
confidence and knowledge of women then your chances of success will
be increased exponentially.
yes Asian society are not as open minded as western ones but we
have our own good points. if you want to compare and complain then
just go over there and look for your love. if you want to stay
here, then just make the best out of what you have. there are a lot
of places locally to meet women. you can join some activities where
there women outnumber men. consider dancing classes, yoga classes,
cooking classes, the list goes on. try online dating as well.you
cannot just go to work everyday and hope that a girl will come to
you. you have to go out there and get her.
Singaporean women might have higher expectations but does not
mean all of them are not good for long term relationship. there are
a lot of good women as there are not so good women. you just need
to expand your social circles and know more women. you only need
one good one. start taking action instead of complaining.
