took me sometime before i decided to post this. here
goes...
there is this girl whom i have known for sometime. always going out
with her, chatting, spending quality time. i was beside her when
she was at her lowest point, shared her woes and happiness,
basically spend plenty of time together with her for the best part
of the last 9 months. she is someone who shares the same values as
i do, viewpoints in life, lifestyle, hobbies, likes and dislikes.
she understands me, fills up every gap that is missing in my life.
in a sense, almost everything i could ask for.
then there is another girl whom i have known for sometime. i don't
go out with her as regularly, but i was always around her. when she
needed help, i could help her. when she needed to whine, i listen
to her whinings. i am happy, cos i was part of her life. this girl
is someone who has the same frequency as i do, but we share
different lifestyles,different views on life, different goals,
sometimes different viewpoints. she is not as caring, understanding
and capable as the first girl, but somehow i got attracted by her
zest in life. she always seem so happy, vibrant, beautiful.we went
out a couple of times before, but everytime it seems so odd? i
don't know, the feeling when i go out with her is not as strong
when i go out with the first girl.
the thing about this situation is that i do like the second girl,
but i know that somehow, we won't be together as couples even
though i like her.
some people once said,"You don't have to be with someone just
because you like them". i think its pretty true. at the moment, i
would love the situation to stay, i.e chatting with her once in a
while, have dinner, meet up once in a while, help her in everyway i
can. but i am afraid i might lose control and do something silly
like telling her i like her, which will probably stop us from
meeting as regularly.
truth be told, i ever tried to like the first girl. she seems so
perfect for my life, everything i have been looking for in my life
she has provided me with. i really wanted this to work out, but
somehow when i ask her, it didn't go as well as plan. reason being
i probably like the second girl more than the first girl. feelings
can't lie. i tried to be selfish just for this once and yet it
still didn't work out.
yes, feelings can't lie. its really tiring to think about the
second girl all the time, knowing that nothing will bear fruit from
all those thoughts of her.
for the first girl, i am afraid she will start to like me. the
signs are starting to show. i am afraid because i cannot
reciprocate the love even though i try.
all i can say is, ke xi bu shi ni.
