The first portion of CuriousOrange's
post isn't applicable to most unless you're facing the same
situation as Yuko, remaining message sets up a good base as of 'why
people always find it difficult to move on, dwell being confused
and trying to sort things out in relationship.'
Very good writeup indeed!
This is the very basic mindset people need to adopt when it comes
to dating or courtship.
Mind games and seduction CANNOT sustain your relationship and your
life in long run. If people are going to rely on these 'tricks and
tactics' all their life to gain love and relationship. They are
very sad people and they're wrong. Because they can never be
themselves.
Some of the readers might think. M©+square is contridicting
himself, he started this forum and yet he says this 'tactics' are
not going to help, why set this up?
Let me take this
chance to clear this doubt.
Dating advice is needed when people do not know where they're
heading to or where their courtship stands.
These people need to experiement through certain things or ;
crudely - 'tactics' to realise what works for them and to somewhat
work on improving themselves to adopt a healthy mindset on
relationship..
M©+square always ask this question to advisees :::What do
you want ultimately.
Because i don't believe in making you do the things the person
you're not.
I understand that there are articles which had offended a few of
the forumers including the oldbies.
I apologise if the materials here have sent the wrong
message.
Those articles are shared out of a good cause, that people might
try those articles out and learn something out of it. Gain insights
of what is happening and why they always fall into the same
hole.
Till date, CuriousOrange's writeup have been the most crystal clear
in regards to 'tactics' and Mindset of handling
relationships.
Kudos to him.
Originally posted by curiousOrange:
Yuko
I will be away on a business trip on Monday. I will not be posting
for a long time. With this long post, I have you and some other
younger forumers (who might stumble upon this post) in mind.
I hope you will find answers to some questions you may have.
[b]Regarding your current
situation
You did not really walk away. You left her physically. That is
all.
You are still emotionally attached to the
possibilities.
In my case,
Walking away = Be emotionally detached from the
possibilities.
I believe you are trying to do the same but is unable to do so
because of your lingering feelings for her.
You do not have to avoid her to be emotionally detached from
her.
Mindset
To be able to walk away, you need to understand a simple
truth.
Everybody in this world is looking for love and acceptance
from someone else.
If a woman rejects you,
Look beyond the remarks she
makes.
Look beyond the flirting and mind games she once played on
you.
Understand the simple truth;
She did what she has done because like you, she is looking
for love and acceptance.
Understand this truth so that you do not have to resort to hating
or avoiding anyone.
Also understand that some things in life are and some
things arent.
You just have to continue your journey, without her in your
consideration.
Techniques and
tactics ?
You have seen me writing about techniques when it comes to
relationships and you think Im some tactical expert.
Truth is, I am not. I merely write things here that reflect
a mindset.
What I have written in this forum:
Dont attempt to buy her affection., Have humor and be
funny.
Be busy and dont call her too often., Dont be desperate as it
kills your game
If you perceive
all these as tactics and techniques, you are on the wrong
track.
Some believe that relationship advices are telling them to be
actors.
So they pretend to be busy. They walk away from a woman, thinking
its part of their tactics.
Its a wrong mindset to have.
You will never be happy when your life revolves around
tactics.
The correct mindset you should have is to focus on yourself.
Understand that if you dont put yourself first, no one will.
To seek love and acceptance from someone else, you must be
able to love and accept yourself totally.
Those advices are not tactics. Its a journey to constantly improve
yourself so that you can accept and love yourself.
For
instance:
You are not trying to act busy. You ARE busy when she calls
because you have to focus on your life first instead of her.
You are not trying to act funny and humorous. You enjoy your life
and you want people around you to feel the joy and have fun.
When you have the correct mindset, you will recognise that
those are not tactics.
You will do things like that naturally because it is all a part of
you.
Tactics is not something that can be substained over time. A
mindset however can stay with you for life.
Dont live for yesterday. Yesterday is over.
You can think about yesterday. But dont live in it.
So when a rejection comes along, move on with life instead
of ponder over what could have been.
Dont live for tomorrow. You can plan for tomorrow.
But tomorrow is an uncertainty. So never push/postpone what
you want to do today until tomorrow.
Live for today. Enjoy today.
Take care.
[/b]
