Keeping the Momentum
Once you have started dating regularly you will need to think about
keeping the momentum going. It is all too easy to allow your dating
to run out of steam too early and watch your date lose interest in
you. It is also the case that you can easily lose interest in them
too. This happens because most often there is too much given and
received too soon. People sometimes get bored and go after a new
thrill, others suddenly lose interest for no apparent reason
leaving you high and dry.
1. Dating is about fun and enjoying the company of your new
romantic interest. The first and primary thing you must do is keep
this element of fun high. So keep your dates amusing and
interesting and do many varied and creative things, whatever the
weather. This should never stop.
2. Do not give of yourself too much too soon. You must remain your
enigma factor and an element of mystery to retain your date's
interest. Therefore don't always explain everything and don't tell
your entire life story too early on.
3. Keep your main life going and remain as busy and as routine as
possible. A busy person is an interesting person and whilst you
should not play games with your date, you do not suddenly need to
start explaining everywhere you go and everything you do. The more
they wonder about you the more they will want to know you.
4. Keep sex out of reach for a while in the early stages until you
are practically wanting to rip each other's clothes off. Whilst
this desire is at it's most intense so will your relationship grow.
Ultimately sex brings a special closeness between two people but it
should not necessarily be immediate. Many is the guy or girl who
has lost someone for being too forthcoming too soon.
5. Retain your independence for nothing has changed. Whilst you may
well soon fall in love, your friends are still there as are your
nights out and your independent socializing. When things often go
wrong it is because you have isolated yourself from your normal
life too quickly and too soon. I advocate that you should always be
able to bring something unique back to your relationship and to do
this you must keep your independent interests to a degree.
6. Plan things together and communicate about the future. Have
common goals and learn to work as a team to make some of these
goals occur. I don't mean big things like buying a house together
but the first step will be vacations for building that solid
foundation.
7. Learn to laugh together a lot and keep laughing. Humor is the
one factor beyond all others that seems to stray from
relationships. It is both your responsibilities to keep things fun
and entertaining so think up as many things as possible and start
straight away.
8. Spend time together. It sounds obvious but it is amazing how
many relationships drift simply because people don't put the time
in. Work is just work. If this is your big romance it should start
to take priority. Money most certainly isn't everything but quality
time is. You will strengthen your bond if you put each other first
as frequently as possible.
9. Communicate with each other. People seem to forget how to talk
once they have started dating. It is as if you think you have said
enough already. Well communication and eye contact and letting each
other know how you feel, both good and bad, which will make all the
difference as to whether you survive as a couple.
10. Listen to your partner and feel her/his needs. Listening is
greatly underrated and should be practiced by everyone. People tell
you things in the most unspoken or subtle of was. By listening to
the person you love, you will see how you can keep things alive and
alight.
11. Be spontaneous. There is nothing more boring than routine.
Every little thing helps from planning a surprise weekend to
turning up from work with flowers. It is your responsibility to be
spontaneous every day so get into the habit, however long you have
been dating.
