Once men begin to understand women's fanatical love of the phone
and the crucial role that it plays in their lives, men can approach
the phone with the respect it deserves, and treat telephone
conversations with skilled tolerance rather than bored
annoyance.
Learning to skillfully handle phone conversations can make the
difference between a mediocre and a fantastic relationship. If you
want to talk your way into her heart, you may need to do some of
that talking over the phone.
If a phone conversation consists of a 30-second monosyllabic
exchange to you, you may need to master 8 phone friendly moves to
become a truly smooth operator in her eyes.
1- Have something to say
If you're the one making the call, make sure that you have
something significant to say -- something she'd be interested in
hearing. Calling to invite her out, ask for her fettuccine Alfredo
recipe or what you should wear to dinner at your boss' house, or to
tell her you love her new haircut, are all acceptable conversation
starters (especially the part about the haircut).
2- Personalize your conversation
Many men complain that the phone is too impersonal, whereas for
most woman, the phone is one of the most personal means of
communication. Women don't use the phone just to call a cab.
Nothing is too personal to talk about over the phone, and women can
spend hours discussing their deepest and most intimate secrets,
darkest fears, childhood traumas, and other emotional
baggage.
You, however, might not be ready to discuss the deep pain you felt
when your childhood puppy Binky was hit by a car. Nevertheless,
there are steps you can take to make phone conversations with your
honey less impersonal.
Try looking at a picture of her whilst talking on the phone. Seeing
her face while you're speaking might help you feel more connected
to her and may help you open up a bit.
3- Learn to multitask
So you think talking on the phone is a waste of time? Guess what?
Your woman probably doesn't. Hang on, don't hang up yet. Talking on
the phone doesn't mean the rest of your day has to be put on hold;
all you have to do is learn to multitask.
To avoid devoting your full attention to the phone, buy one that
has a speaker phone option, so you can talk while moving around; or
better yet, invest in a handy headset, so you can have both your
hands free to pursue, uh, other endeavors. Even a cordless can
allow you to fold your clothing or even do the dishes, all the
while chatting it up with your woman.
4- Become one with the phone
Multitasking is not for everybody -- if you really can't
concentrate on clipping your toenails and talking on the phone at
the same time, you may want to try focusing solely on the
conversation itself. Chances are that if the two of you are talking
in the first place, you do have a slight interest in what she has
to say. So sit down, gaze lovingly into the phone receiver and just
listen.
5- Ask open-ended questions
Open-ended questions require way more than a simple "yes" or "no"
answer. Be prepared. Have a list of "safe" questions at your
disposal, so that she can do most of the talking. For example,
questions about her cat and her new stereo are
phone-friendly.
Questions about her relationship with her mother or the picture of
that mystery boy on her shelf are not. If, for some unforeseen
reason, the phone conversation begins to veer in the direction of
the meaning of your relationship, quickly intervene with a question
about her award-winning chili, so you can sit back and let her gab
away.
6- Take control of the conversation
It's true. Women's phone conversations have no emotional boundaries
whatsoever, and if allowed to run wild, these conversations can run
to dangerously steep emotional depths. If the only tears you want
to shed while talking on the phone are from the onions you're
chopping for your dinner, you need to take control of the
conversation and steer it away from any deep, emotional
drop-offs.
To remain in control of the chatter, you need to be the one doing
most of the asking. If you merely respond to what she says, she may
sneakily lure you into talking about your feelings and other
"no-win situation" questions.
7- Always leave her wanting more
Who do you think is sexier: Peter Parker or Spider-Man? Spidey is
because he's mysterious and unpredictable. So take his 8-legged
lead and weave a web of mystery around your conversation. Don't
tell her every teeny, insignificant detail about your life. Maybe
you are a world-class ping-pong player -- but save that gem for
another conversation.
8- Exit gracefully
Luckily for you, all phone conversations must, alas, come to an end
-- but don't be fooled; you need to factor in at least an extra
five minutes for the goodbye talk. Saying goodbye to a woman on the
phone is like overtime in hockey -- we think the game's over, but
oh no, there's a whole other period.
So get that stick back on the ice because abruptly saying "Gotta
go, game's on," doesn't qualify as an acceptable goodbye. Ease into
the finale. Try getting off the phone using sincere statements that
let her know that you enjoyed the conversation and hope to see and
talk to her soon. If you really are in a big rush, tell her your
mother just walked in, your chili is burning, your phone battery is
dying, or your pet rattlesnake isn't in his cage.
