Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is
this true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's
it...don'twaste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually.
Speeding upyour heart will not make you live longer; that's like
saying you canextend the life of your car by driving it faster.
Want to live longer?Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?A:
You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay
and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing
more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your
system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of
field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you
100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable
products.
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio? A: Well, if you have a
body, and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have
two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a
regularexercise program?A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My
philosophy is: NoPain...Good.
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?A: You're not listening. Foods
are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated
in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around
the middle?A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets
bigger. Youshould only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger
stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?A: Are you crazy? HELLO...... Cocoa
beans ... another vegetable!!! It's the best feel good food
around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?A: If swimming is good for your
figure, explain whales to me.
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?A: Hey! 'Round'
is a shape!!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have
had
about food and diets. Now go have a biscuit...flour is a
veggie!
