well, joho is gone, for now, hope he will come back n not decide
to stay in australia forever for he will surely be sorely
missed...... but then again it depends where the winds of love blow
him to.....
hmmm..... well, to b honest, wat joho said, i'm oso facing the same
dilemma.... as some of u noe, i'm a malaysian who's been studying
in s'pore since pri 1.... though my whole extended family (both mum
n dad side) is in malaysia (onli my big bro n i n 1 uncle n his
family stay in s'pore), i feel more a part of singapore than
malaysia..... those who've seen me n tokked to me are sometimes a
bit surprised when i say that i'm malaysian, cos i indeed do not
speak nor behave like one, with the exception of when i tok to
malaysian's in chinese but that's not often.....
i'm a pr in s'pore, which has often made me think: i'm going to
turn 21 soon, in less than a month, n if singapore asks me whether
i want to become a singaporean, wat would i say? many would think
that it is better for me to become a singaporean cos malaysia is
lacking in a lot of ways that singapore is good at, but i'm realli
unsure of what to do.... cos i dunno...... on one hand, i realli
detest certain things abt malaysia, but yet on the other hand, if i
become a singaporean, it feels like i'm turning my back on my
family....
some will say, then jus stay a malaysian n singapore pr, but there
are a lot of things which i m not benefitting from cos i m onli a
pr here..... n since i m most likely to settle here (dun think i
will find an ang moh husband 
) i
would like to enjoy those benefits.... already in sec sch, i din
get the $600 from the SEAP award, onli cos i was not singaporean
but jus a pr, the whole national schools netball team got it,
except for me, i felt it was so unfair, i din get wat was
rightfully mine.... anyway, that's a small matter now....
hmmm..... i dunno, even when i'm in singapore n telling my frens
that 'i am going back to malysia', i use the word back, like it's
my home, but then i oso say 'i will be coming back to singapore'
which also means singapore is my home... some times my frens get
confused cos i just say 'i'll be back...' and they ask me whether
it's singapore or malaysia..... guess they get confused cos i
myself am confused..... (m i getting u the reader confused?
)
ok..... this entry is getting too long.... but the gist of wat i'm
trying to say is that i'm also like joho, not sure of where exactly
i think/feel is home..... and i'm sure the problem will be further
worsened if i get married n move overseas......
well, jus my thoughts..........
