Category Three: The red pill
Now, this last category represents people like J B Jeyaratnam, Chee
Soon Juan, Francis Seow and all the other exiles from Singapore. I
could include Dr Toh Chin Chye in it as well.
All of us are aware of the history of the first two and we clearly
do not envy them. The supposed 'climate of fear' that exists in
Singapore politics is a very scary force to change. Those who
really want to change this climate, must be prepared to free
himself from this fear and live with whatever consequences that
might happen.
Keanu Reeves himself have to overcome many of his own doubts about
him being 'The One', even dying before being resurrected, before he
can unleash his full potential. Too bad real life is not like a
movie, or is it? :-)
My own testimony on how I taken the red pill
I ask myself, "Which category do I belong to?" I would say I am
somewhere in between the second and the third one. I am clearly not
someone willing to pay the price like Chee Soon Juan and yet I am
clearly not contented to take the blue pill and forget
everything.
I remember the period when I first took the red pill and found out
for myself about this climate of fear. It was my first year in NUS.
I attended this closed door Philosophy seminar where the topic was
on the role of Philosophy in Singapore.
I think Cherian George was also present in that seminar, somewhere
in July 1994. The discussion turned into an issue about whether the
government is open to the idea of Singaporeans thinking for
themselves.
As a " newbie undergraduate " , I tried to make a point then that
Singaporeans have no freedom of speech and the government does not
want us to contribute to policy making.
I think it was Cherian George that later asked me, "If you think freedom of speech is so
important, why didn't you parade with banners in Singapore urging
for a change?" I remember replying, "Look what happen to Chee Soon
Juan."
At that point of time, there was a combination of chuckling and
some silence, but I did not know why.
After the seminar, I met up with some of my friends who gave me a
rather stern look and said something like, "Why did you say things like that? Didn't you
know that S Vasoo was among the audience?"
To be frank, at that time, I did not know who S Vasoo was. Later I
found out that he was the PAP MP who sued Dr Chee Soon Juan in
court in 1992-93.
And guessed what? I felt scared! I really did feel
fearful. I went back home and started wondering,
"Oh no! What have I done?"
I begin to wonder whether my grades would be condemned from now on,
whether my future will be ruined and so on.
Looking back, I guess I was too fearful, for my situation now would
not have been so if they really kept tabs on me. But the point is
still that, for the first time in my life, I experienced for myself
the climate of fear in Singapore.
Ironically, I originally wanted to be a journalist in the Straits
Times. After swallowing that 'red pill', I begin to research more
into the history of the press in Singapore.
It was then that I found out what happen to the Singapore Herald
and the Far Eastern Economic Review. I guess I kissed that dream
goodbye after that.
I also began researching into Singapore's history in 1987, not the
official government version, but one told by Francis Seow in his
book, To catch a
Tartar.
After finding out what really happened in the 1987 ISA arrests, I
was shocked. I cannot believe that, during that time, I actually
ran in front of the TV then whenever they started playing the
patriotic songs, Count on Me
Singapore and We are Singapore, to sing those songs with a
great sense of pride. I guess if any of my friends tried to tell me
then what really happened in that year, I would have rejected
everything they say completely.
Thus at this present moment, I can understand the reaction I get
from my friends whenever I try to discuss about politics, after
all, I was in their shoes before.
Conclusion
I love The Matrix so much for giving me the inspiration to come up
with this article. If you were to ask me whether I regretted having
taken the red pill, I would say, "No!"
I always believe it is better to be Socrates dissatisfied than a
fool satisfied.
But I understand that my fellow Singaporeans are only rational in
remaining apathetic, because if you want to settle down and make
Singapore your home, having these thoughts will be very harmful to
your mind.
That is an important reason why I need to get out of Singapore,
temporarily at least, for now
. I am not willing to pretend it does not affect me. And
I know that, the longer I remain here in Singapore, the more I will
have to expel all these thoughts out of my mind.
I would hate it if I one day have to put the cross on the lightning
symbol of the PAP, during the elections if I get to vote, for
'fear' that my career would be affected if I did not do so; that is
a real possibility if I were to settle down here.
I do not want my kid to come up one day and ask me, "Daddy, why didn't you stop the PAP earlier
from making Singapore to be a city of fear," because I will
not know how to answer him.
I thank God that he has given me an opportunity to experience life
in another culture. I want to find out for myself whether I am
better off being a second class person in a racially discriminating
society like in the US, or being a second class person in a
politically discriminating society like Singapore (Of course,
Singapore, in my opinion, also practice racism.
It is just that I belong to the majority race so I have to look
closely to feel it, you can read my viewpoints towards racism in
Singapore here) I may not be able to fly like Keanu Reeves did in
the last scene of the movie, but I am certainly looking forward to
a different environment here.
(Update 15/12/2004) I see that the feedback page has been disabled
due to spam. Amazed how widely read this 2000 piece is among
Singaporeans. For those of you who want to provide feedback to me
through email, the address is [email protected] (without
the spacing of course hehe);
http://www.geocities.com/kelvintan73/articles/matrix.htm