More children admitted with mental illness....poor thing

last SG · 2005-05-05T12:43:30+00:00

It is because these kids are not given a helping hand to adapt to the rapid pace of change that drives them up the wall. There are many young people with hi...

elindra SG

I tend to meet more mandarin speaking kids to english speaking ones?

dragg SG

its true that most can speak but cant recognise or write characters, which is very important!!!

chronicles SG

Why dont those of you who experience the less stressful times in singapore education just shut up, we have to face stress now and when we grow up.You guys only face stress in one phase of your life, that is when you have grown up and work. Mad Mad

the Bear SG

oh yeah.. everyone has their stresses...

so.. will shutting up make it less stressful for you?

or will our talking about it actually help us find a solution?

or are you one of the selfish "me me me" young 'uns now who suffer from supermassiveblackhole complex... the whole universe revolves around you?

'sides... you didn't have to read this you know? Laughing

iveco SG

Asian children also don't have it easy in the Swan Valley either. There is an Asian-run cafe near my university that I've visited a few times. I have overheard the owner telling his young sons about getting ready for Kumon lessons. AFAIK, Kumon is a Japanese method of learning, and I don't trust the Japs when it comes to education. Kids in Tokyo are able to commit gruesome murders, meaning something is very wrong with the Japanese system.

A side note, here's a hypothetical situation. Imagine you have migrated to Australia (any city). Would you send your kids to learn how to play soccer if they have a talent for the sport? After all, they are learning to play for recreational purposes, not to turn pro later in life.

sgdiehard SG

everybody goes thru lives experiencing different kinds of stress. do not assume that the older generation only go through one phase of life under stress.

Those whom you think experienced less stress are those who handled stress well.

Managing stress is a learning process for growing up to handle greater stress. If under stress you lose your temper and forget about your manners, you need to learn from those who know how to manage stress. So, stay cool, keep quiet and learn, that is actually the first step to managing stress.

cheers.

Chin Eng SG

I've a cousin who emigrated to Perth a few years back and has 4 children. From the info I am getting from my relatives is that the kids are facing more pressure than my boys here in Singapore. Apparently, you can leave a kiasu country, but the kiasu attitude does not leave you....
These 4 children have their daily routine packed to the brim from one training to another, and not just that, no time for recreation. It is only when they visit their grandparents in Singapore that they have time to watch TV.

I just got back from bringing my younger son to his swimming lessons (which is the ONLY class he is attending outside school). Now boy my sons are revising their school, only because it's exams week. On any given Saturday, we won't be back till about 3 pm, after visiting shopping malls and having a meal in a food court or restaurant.

chronicles SG

How much stress compared to us and what stress? winning the five stones tournament?

You know when i was young everyday i had tuition and my father would not ever let me play computer, than i got 223 for PSLE he still not happy and dont let me play computer spoil the last phase of my childhood Mad Mad Mad

Chin Eng SG

Well, from music lessons, to swimming lessons, to tuition, etc etc. My cousin's family was unique in a sense that I thought he had emigrate because he wanted to ESCAPE the stress but seems not to be as he is CREATING the stress for his children.

I cannot speak for your father, but my sons play computer every week except for the ONE week during exams. As a matter of fact, we are NOW getting ready to play UNO..... in the midst of an exams week.

All I am saying is, there WILL be people who will pressure their children to a very unrealistic level and there are others who knows how to balance study and play. It is rather unfortunate that your experience is in the former.

Got go now, the UNO cards are on the table and I'd promise to be there in 5 minutes....

Have a good night.

a_splash SG

Hi there,

i truly empathise with the current generation with such heavy load for study.

then again like one of post mentioned here, everyone of us has their own stresss somewhere. And its tough to measure that yours higher or ours.

i strongly believe there are always pros and cons to every thing. Say its tough but i also marvel how kids' brain can absorb so much and i am impressed. Guess its also boils down to a survival game.

Do look more on the good points and don't brood over the bad effects. There is a purpose and reason for everything.

As for the computer games. is without the playing the computer game so bad as to spoil your childhood??

Did you have to study 24hrs round the clock and only break for food and bathe??

Do you have other forms of relaxation besides the computer games??

i can understand y your dad do not allow you to play the computer games, cos i am not a person for computer games too Laughing but my kids do play lah......(before any body start to shoot at me )

guess he heards too much about being addict and its too tiring for the eyes, so many that's y?

Try to look at it this way, its out of love that he wants u to do well in your studies, he find the result no good enugh maybe just he tot that can keep u trying harder?? (umm a bit greedy but that's some parents lor )

The book 7 habits of highly effective ppl is my beloved book and my first love (recommended here by Chin Eng). Please do read it.

if your dad is still restricting you. You can always find out his fear, y is he against such games. Assure him by proofing to him you will not be as wat he worries, set some kind of agreement between you and him. I am sure u will soon be able to gain his confidence and hence lessen his control over you.

Good Luck.

Think Positive!

a_splash SG

why huh?? has it got to do with our environment?? the way our government has DRIVEN us?? or wat?? Rolling Eyes

Actually true that parents also has a role to play in the current stressful life of our kids. My girl's classmates whose result is only one mark or two diff from my girl....their parents send them for tutions after the girls result drop by less than five marks (their results were in band1 and upper band2 kind). ..... Rolling Eyes they make me wonder and wory initially.....but i weigh the pros and cons, (other than money no enugh).....and my decision was no full fledge tuition (but enrichments at cc is fine).....i have learnt to live without being influence. I am glad... Cool

I am not one for the cane.....and hence i fall in love with books like :
How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk etc etc.....

i am still learning......and thank goodness my kids are helping me by teaching me the way.......when they retort or shows anger/frustration....i tell my hubby they are 'teaching us' how to care for them.....take their clues...

a_splash SG

something must be wrong with us, chinese, le.....i rem hearing ppl tell me that there are malays and indians taking up chinese nowadays and their chinese results are very good....

something is wrong with us i think..... Rolling Eyes

dragg SG

yes, something is seriously wrong. we are too westernised!!!

a_splash SG

Rolling Eyes u think so???

but i don't think we are le....we are always neither here nor there.....

dragg SG

maybe not your family, but most chinese are. i have read many postings where chinese think that learning mandarin is a waste of time. some even professed that they hate china.

the Bear SG

oh... i'm ethnic chinese... i'm NOT a chinese national...

i don't like the PRC at all...

but i like the language although i'm less than useless at it..

never confuse liking a language for liking their nation... i think PRC is slowly figuring out its power and are behaving like a courtyard bully sometimes..

Chin Eng SG

My opinion? I think life is a vicious cycle. The government in its' attempt to upgrade may have a part in it, but it is not the only factor. Another factor, (I hope this does not sound to racist) is the mental state of most ethnic yellow-skinned folks (including Koreans and Japanese). If you are to look at any society that has a section the thrives very strongly, it is likely to be yellow-skinned folks. The need to excel is very very strong in us.

Actually true that parents also has a role to play in the current stressful life of our kids. My girl's classmates whose result is only one mark or two diff from my girl....their parents send them for tutions after the girls result drop by less than five marks (their results were in band1 and upper band2 kind). ..... they make me wonder and wory initially.....but i weigh the pros and cons, (other than money no enugh).....and my decision was no full fledge tuition (but enrichments at cc is fine).....i have learnt to live without being influence. I am glad...

Enrichment classes are good. Not only is the environment more play-like, it helps to inculcate a liking for the subject matter. My sons has a Chinese teaching coming in each week to do an enrichment programme. Nothing on the school syllabus is taught, on the contrary, they discuss on proverbs, culture and history.
I think it is wrong to push the children for the banding. Tuition to me is not a good solution. My sons and I had an agreement when they started their schooling: As long as they listen to their class lessons attentive and continue to deliver a reasonable result, they will have no need for tuition. The term reasonable is defined by an upper band 2 marks, if occasionally the score drops to lower band 2, it is also acceptable. Most parents need to know the ROOT cause of low marks, if this is not discover, tuition is only a poorly taught-of solution.

I am not one for the cane.....and hence i fall in love with books like :
How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk etc etc.....

i am still learning......and thank goodness my kids are helping me by teaching me the way.......when they retort or shows anger/frustration....i tell my hubby they are 'teaching us' how to care for them.....take their clues...

As long as the child is properly managed, caning is NOT necessary. As I'd said, I believe in caning, my sons know I believe in caning, so nowadays they never ever get into the situation that needed this punishment. Rules in my house include:
1. Parents are never always correct, if the child disagree with the parents, the child may voice their disagreement, but should do it with respect. Freedom of speech with love.
2. If I am proven wrong, I will apologise. I expect the same from them.
3. Respect each other's space and property. Ask permission when entering each others private zone eg cupboards and drawers. I ask permission when opening my sons' drawers and school bags.
4. Objective and realistic goals are set. When in doubt, please clarify. This is important when we look at our children and decide what they can do. Many times, such goals are unrealistics (eg getting band 1 ALL the time).

a_splash.... all this while, I am not aware that you are a mother. I taught you are a dad like me.... ha ha Laughing

a_splash SG

Laughing let me self intro :

i am a full time working mum to two rascals and a one yr old monster who already starts to throw tantrum.

and who aspire to learn to live life to the fullest within my means and capacity with my family Wink

skyline63 SG

Maybe it's time for you to cane the child isn't it ? She can cry. She can throw tantrum. But remember, you can always don't stop caning her right ? Crying voice too loud. Cane until she is quiet isn't the answer ? Do it once, and forever she remember. Remember, a human in the age of 1,2,3 is just like an animals mind. Can take advantage of others, they will. And crying they think it's their weapon. Destroy their weapon. And you shall rule over them.

Try not to control a dog in your house. Someday the dog will bite you to your death because dog don't see you as their master.

A baby think crying it's his weapons to get what it want. Don't you think so ? What make you think a baby just born. Know what is a human.

Human is taught control and learn from hardship. Or else.... you are an animals.

CenturionMBT SG

well, used to hate chinese,
but you know, animes and mangas coming into singapore . . .they are always subbed in chinese. So i had no choice but to go back to it. but true . . . as you continue to use it in your daily life, you start to adore the language. Anyway, language is never fun in a classroom enviroment with test and such. But when allowed to be used freely, it is a different thing altogether. On the other hand, it is really difficult to learn a language without somebody there to guide you. So ultimately, it must be taught in a classroom kinda style.

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