Charles,
made a major decision today, which is why I decided to tell you...
Actually I decided it last night but I only started acting on it
today. I've decided to change my outlook on life. As in, change the
way I look at life, the way I view everything, the way I deal with
things. I have been too emotional and I have always thought that it
was just me and refused to believe that I could change and that
people would just have to accept me the way I am. I have always
thought that I sufferred from depression and have always used that
as an excuse. But I just realised that like I said, those were just
excuses.
I need to learn to change and not be so emotional and not get
influenced by everything so easily. Not everything is as important
as it seems. I have to learn to always look on the bright side of
life and not to take everything so seriously. And yet, i also have
to take certain aspects of my life more seriously. As in I have to
learn to be more responsible for my own actions and not blame what
happens to me on others.
I don't know whether you get wat I mean but I think that you know
enough to understand. I also know that change is not an overnight
thing. I've always talked about the need to change myself but have
not been able to. I believe that it has been because I only knew
that I needed to change but did not know what was it that I needed
to change. Now I more or less know or rather finally acknowledged
what I sort of knew all along what I need to change.
I know that it is not easy, which is why I am asking that you watch
over me and help me in any way you can. I know that you will be so
proud of me if I succeed. Maybe that was what you were trying to
say to me all along? Anyway, I just felt that I needed to tell you
because I know that if you knew you would be happy that your wilful
cousin is finally moving on in her life. Just a few days ago I was
feeling like my life has come to a standstill but now I know that
it is finally moving on.
Thank you for always listening. Thank you.........
