by the Little Red Dot
23 March 2003 (Sunday) Watched the US-Iraqi showdown on CNN over
lunch. Father is in a bad mood. He had lost money on the war so
far. He betted on the wrong day for the commencement of war, he
betted on the US seizing Baghdad in just 4 days and he betted that
Iraq will unleash chemical weapons. Total loss was about
US$100,000.
Minister for Foreign Affairs Yaya Koo Ma came in. He needs special
approval from father and I for an immigration application. Is this
a very special foreign talent who has three doctorates in life
science, father asked? No. Is this another high-flying corporate
CEO whom my dear wife has set her lustful eyes on, I asked? No. Is
this a first-rate Mandarin teacher from Beijing who will bolster
Singapores Chinese majority, mother asked? No. Yaya said this
person is an expert in chemistry, nuclear physics, population
control and oil exploration and extraction. What a multi-talented
person, father said as he signed the approval papers.
The hot-line rang. It was old friend Saddam on the line. He wanted
to know what should be his next move. I glanced at the computer
screen which was showing stock and currency prices, and then at my
portfolio. I still have not yet sold out my high profitable
positions. Keep the Yankees and Brits at bay for a few more days, I
told him. Hold them at Umm Qasr and Basra. CNN has been complaining
to me that TV viewership is starting to slip because there has been
no fighting so far. Thats not good for my CNN stock too. Will do,
Saddam said, but can I please ask Bush not to use too much
firepower? He does not have enough tomato juice to splatter around.
Ill see what I can do, I replied. Saddam said something about
needing a good holiday and some sun after this war is over and hung
up.
There was breaking news on CNN. The CIA reported that a South-east
Asian country has granted refuge to Saddam and that Saddam is
preparing to flee Baghdad. Damn those Malaysians or Indonesians, I
muttered. Now we will have war at our doorsteps.
The phone rang again. It was the US Ambassador to Singapore. He was
raving mad and ranted about Singapore betraying the US, and
threatening to cut off all diplomatic ties with Singapore. A
horrible thought just entered my head. I ran to the other phone and
called my Yaya Foreign Minister. What papers did father just
signed, I asked? The immigration papers for a Mr. Al-Jameel
Mohammed was the reply. However, he is more commonly known by his
alias Saddam Hussein. I called my personal assistant and asked him
to book Yaya Koo Ma on the next flight out to Baghdad. Dont worry
if the Baghdad airport is closed to landing, I said. Just air-drop
him.
