We were involved in a non-committal relationship again shortly
after. Sexually and mentally, Desmond is my man. Satisfying both my
sexual needs and mental needs, he was always there whenever I
needed him. It was wonderful just to be involved with someone like
him, until I got hooked onto my job. Sometimes he complained that
he wanted me so much yet I paid no attention to him. I guess the
complaints got more when I was too involved with my work. He felt
neglected when I was in the prime of my career.
There was one time when the argument got so heated that he said,
You wont even notice if I brought a woman home. This caught me
by surprised. Desmond never had two women at the same time. In
other words, he is very faithful. Later he apologized for his harsh
words and straightened out my doubts.
We carried on our relationship for another 6 months and I moved
out. This time round, the fault lies partly with me. Desmond got to
move to New York for his work. Since I have to be based in
Singapore, theres no way we can be together.
Im tired about our relationship, Natty, Desmond argued when I
urged him to stay. I though you were fine with the whole
non-committal idea? I asked him. I was, until now. Im getting
old. I want to get married. You dont. Desmond said. That was it.
I asked no questions, though I was disappointed. Maybe we were
never meant to be. I thought we could be like that forever. I could
but he cant. I love my freedom but he want to be tied down. I
guess people changed at different stages of their life. For me, I
still want to lead the carefree life that I always wanted.
We do keep in contact up to today. Desmonds still my best friend
and confidante. It was difficult at first but it worked out for us.
Hes happily married now in New York, while Im still single. His
wife, a beautiful American born Chinese, was his colleague. As time
goes by, they fell in love. Within one year after we parted, they
got married. I was disappointed yet happy for him. He found what he
wanted all along and Im happy for him. Though we are not
romantically involved anymore, we still got along real fine. A bond
was built within us and his wife didnt even mind our past.
I guess it is always the forbidden love that gave me the thrill.
Love does not always have an ending, cherishing the time together
and having great memories, is more then enough for me
