Welcome to EZ Link Card 2005. For the the very cheap price of
$2,000, citizens of Singapore can now obtain the exclusive EZ-link
card which comes with the latest technologies. First off, the
EZ-link card now comes with the most advanced polymer technology
which renders it totally indestructible. Shoot a GPMG bullet into
it and it blocks the bullet. You can use it as a bulletproof card
to protect ur heart. We help you survive to ride.
If you experience drowning while undergoing survival training in
NS, EZ Link Card 2000 has a gamma impulse capability to resuscitate
the heart beat. Don't leave home without it! We keep you alive to
ride.
We have also put in a P8 Intel chip that allows ur EZ link card to
compute how much money you need to add for the stored value and
deduct the money straight with a tie-up with GIRO. So do not need
to worry about fare increases anymore, everything is invisible : we
increase, you ride.
EZ Link 2005 also boasts 200 gigabytes of harddrive space so that
you can store thousands of dollars in the card for the future
public transport needs of Singapore. We deduct, you ride.
This amazing piece of shit also has the latest GPRS technologies so
that even if your lost in Africa, you can still find out in how
many minutes the MRT train is going to arrive in Buangkok station.
Wherever you are, we let you ride.
For suspicious wives, EZ Link 2005 (couples' card) has a plug-in
program which detects female moaning sounds up to 20 metres radius
.. so that you WILL know your husband is f...cking around. Your
husband riding the wrong bus, we tell you.
Finally, if all this gizmos are still not enough, the EZ-link Card
2005 has serrated platinum edges to help you bleed more if your
unhappy with life. From birth to death ... EZ-Link makes it EZ, you
bleed, we ride.
(fine print : To obtain EZ Link 2005, please put in a bid for a
COE)
DJ PuBorKia
10.11.03
