Lim Peh ka li kong, hor, nowsaday, chewrens should treat old
people like shit.
In other words, must wipe them, lah.
Young people should be honoured to clean us up!
Not like my bloody son, who dared to kao peh when I vomited all
over myself and his lap top. I only wanted to share with him what I
had for lunch, what!
It's a sad day for society when young people can't appreciate a
senior citizen vomiting on their electrical equipment.
Si noong kia! Now he wants to send me to an old folks home.
I was tempted to call him a son of a bitch, but then my wife began
to scold me, asking me why I insult her when I was angry with
him.
I tell you, ah, women also nowsaday don'ch respect men anymore!
Bleddy ungrateful! After all the things we do for them.
Like allow them to have sex with us, carry our chewrens and cook
and clean for us.
You would think they would appreciate us, but no, they demand all
sorts of unreasonable things.
Like unbinding their feet. Or voting. Or monogamy.
Anyway, my bleddy son put me in an old folks home - the Little
Sisters of the Senile Home for the Aged.
All the way there, I curse and curse my son, say he treat his
father like that, later sure suay one.
Sure kena extend his reservist, bao his chewrens cannot get into
G.E.P. and all sorts of hojjiber things.
But was he contrite when I confronted him with his unfilial
behaviour?
No, the si gin nah said, "I should show you the same filial
behaviour you showed when you decided to chain Grandma in a cage
and hose her down."
Then he added, "Besides, it's Ah Ma's idea."
Bleddy people nowsaday don'ch understand the fundamental concept
underlying Asian values.
Which is "do as I say, don't do as I do".
Anyway, when I reach the Little Sisters of the Senile, I began to
have a change of heart.
I thought, maybe there is a very, very small possibility that I am
a burden to my chewrens.
Like when I use their credit card to pay for my monthly pilgrimage
and donations to the temple in Patpong.
Or when I massage my prostate while watching adult VCDs in the
living room.
Or when I blow my nose on their laundry.
Of course it is very unreasonable of my chewrens to see this as
burdensome behaviour. But then, chewrens nowsaday are less
understanding.
So, I thought, maybe it's better that I stay in an old folks
home.
So my son won't have to wipe me up when I lao jio in my
pants.
Instead, maybe it's better that the Little Sisters (some of whom
are not so little) wipe me up instead.
After all they are trained professionals. They certainly look very
professional in their tight, tight costumes.
Especially when they bend over to pick things up.
Yes, maybe it's for the best that these young nuns are the ones who
have to wipe my kukucheow in warm, soapy water whenever I soil
myself .
Lim Peh ka li kong, the suffering I have to endure because of my
chewrens' unfilial behaviour.
-LIM PEH