Hi,
I too love cartoons and I do watch Naruto. As for your
question.
The problem with Tobi is that he was angry when he saw Rin die.
What happened was that when he got angry... he became narrow-minded
and thus saw his method via hypnosis to be the only way out. Thing
is its only his reality that is a living hell.
To the rest that's not the case.
Its easy to sympathise with Tobi because the reasoning calls out
to the compassionate side of our conscience. It however does not
change the reality that he became narrow-minded due to his anger
and gave up hope.
I suppose death of your true love can cause such trauma..but it
does not change reality... it really depends on the mental fibre of
the person affected.
To accept reality and move on is really the only
option...however to overcome the grief might take awhile. Just
don't let it take forever.