Advice please: To leave or not to leave him

Jadiry SG

Hi Labourday2013, I already got over the hatred… Only left sadness and disappointment. Right now I am trying to forget. But thanks for the reminder about forgiveness Smile

Dear Tanet,

1 & 3) Noted on the separation, I will read the papers carefully. Right now I am thinking I will won’t sign the papers (if he file divorce) until I turn 35.

Unexpectedly, my family said they will give me emo support only. as for shelter and money, I am on my own… So I have keep this flat I guess. Or rent a room.

2) Womb check – I just wanted to make sure I am actually ok also. Because I also wondering why I never managed to get pregnant during all these times when we did have intercourse.

4) I also cannot sleep well. Maybe I miss his presence or something, now I wake up in the middle of the night, 3-4AM and ‘feel’ the bed shaking, like when he was sleeping with me. Its really hard to forget him. Weight loss, I managed to drop from 62kg to 55kg in 3 mths. Now 5 more kg to go… I am not eating much now, loss of appetite.

5) I am so sorry about it. But jia you, dear Tanet, you managed to move on, keep walking on Smile God will provide for you!

HP bills, I cut the line off already. But he can still whatsapp me with the old number… strange.

This week I not so good. Tuesday I got migrane and food poisoning, Wednesday I got menses cramps. Then add the stress/fear of him coming back to collect his things today – which he postpone to 24th May by the way… I was way over the top… Can’t sleep, can’t eat well… feel like dying…

lanciism SG

Looks like you are going to get 50% of everything.

Divorce can be painful, but don't be afraid... God is with you.

lanciism SG

The worst part... you are already going through it.

From here, things get better as you adapt to your circumstances.

What's important is to keep up the Faith, and keep believing your brighter days are ahead.

Go to your temple and make a prayer. Sometimes Divine Will helps.

This resource might help: http://book.lancism.com

lanciism SG

Sorry, let me try again: http://book.lancism.com

TANET SG

Dear Jadiry,

actually I would encourage you to keep the flat as well. Sometimes a single decision you make will affect your well being for the rest of your life. Keeping the flat means you will have shelter and you can even rent out a room which will bring in another 600 a month. So I hope you can stay put there and bear with the painful memories. At most in future, u can rent it out for 2200 while you rent another room for yourself for 600, that will still put you ahead. So, do bear with it.

Looks like he is quite eager to have a life with her, make use of this to get favorable terms from him. The terms can be stated in the Separation papers, So you two can come to an agreement that he will move out and leave you to stay at the matrimonial home till official divorce. You can also state down how the flat should be divided upon divorce. It is possible for you to get a bigger share if you are able to show that you had been paying for it. But if you want more, be prepared to fight for it. That means after divorce, there will be another hearing for division of matrimonial assets.

Losing sleep and having maigraine is normal, due to the stress you are going through. You can drink a bit if it helps you to sleep better at night. Use your setback to give you the strength and motivation to lead a better life. The best revenge is to show him that you can have a much better life without him. So, manage your finances properly and develop your career. Slim down, work out, learn to doll yourself up and reinvent yourself. Improve yourself in every way and regain your confidence, it is his loss that he did not cherish you.

Good Luck.

Kris 1234 SG

JelloPoop SG

Dear Jadiry,

Exactly...People usually want to get over their divorce asap due to their emotional state only to regret it later.

Keep the freaking flat.

Wenyi SG

Sorry about heard your divorce case. May god bless you. I am hearing impaired not fit for hearing aids. I too jobless. I am new user today.

BotaHead SG

to leave or dont leave is sitting on the fance

Happybananami SG

Hey, maybe you need a man now. Although I am 17, I'm a man! Contact me okay?

Redna SG

No... You are Neither a man Nor a boy...

Just see what your trouble here is at
http://sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/471179

Oto45 SG

yes. leave.

its not just a simple matter of leaving the husband or not. there are many other issues at hand.

Oto45 SG

Hey, maybe you need a man now. Although I am 17, I'm a man! Contact me okay?

hey lunatic, stay away from this. she has already enough problems. she doesn't need another lunatic like you.

Jadiry SG

Thank you everyone for the kind advice.

He already filed the papers and I am… well, I just decide to give in and sell the flat.

Start over… Wish me luck.

Jadiry SG

hey lunatic, stay away from this. she has already enough problems. she doesn't need another lunatic like you.

And Oto45, Thanks for 'standing up' for me :)

Happybananami SG

But Jadiry, I like mature women. Can we meeeeeeeeeeeet?

Fugazzi SG

To stay in a marriage cos of security (aka material as well as pecuniary) is foolishness. When the latter goes, one is in trouble. To blame another is unfair, take responsibility and move on if the need arises. Otherwise, it is merely two walking graves!
PS – the mr rite n the miss rite is a myth, Being rite matters and it makes a difrference.

M the name SG

"In the end, are you really so obvious? Because this was textbook. The promise of love, the pain of loss, the joy of redemption. Then give him a puzzle and watch him dance."

Sherlock Mycroft

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