innocent families of drug abusers support group

Findthesilverlining1989 SG

Hi Singapore,

i m writing for the first time here in a desperate attempt to solve a particular tricky yet nerve wrecking issue in my family. Would be appreciative of sincere respondents or even better, people in similar shoes, afterall it would be great if there can be an informal support group within people of rather unfortunate fate, to share and advise one another.

As the heading suggests, i am the eldest son of a hardcore drug abusing father in Singapore. None of my friends know about this, not because i am ashamed of the fact but rather it would be hard for them to understand and relate to. Currently my father is in the worse state ever( jobless and hardcore addicted) and i am comtemplating on what's next, especially i have to be the head of the family to support both my mother and my brother emotionally and financially.

I have always wondered whether in this supposedly drugfree nation called singapore, are there anybody similar person out there who share similar shoes. Personally i never met one but then again probably they are like me, hiding and numbing the sad fact through ignorance. Abit info about me. Even before i was born, my father was a drug addict. His best moment in his life was to marry a decent woman, who thinks she can change him. But sadly after 26 years, she has yet to change him, and only added turmoils and high blood pressures as injustice rewards by being a faithful wife and dutiful mother. I was lucky compared to some other children on similar circumstances. I would not say i am gifted but i am able to succeed to a certain extent in the singapore system only to be restricted by inability to focus in recent years due to the "imprisonment" of being stuck in a dilemma on how to elevate the family out of this situation.

People associate family members and especially offsprings of criminalistic offenders to be incapable and unmotivated, filled with similar possibilties of following into their parents footstep. Such is highlighted by the "unofficial reason" provided when i wanted to sign on as an officer or even when i aced bmt but failed to be granted officership. However, as i did a major related to statistical analysis, data do prove those naysayer right and the unjust rationale would be to discriminate.

Yes, i came from a top junior college and the best university in singapore and i was "lucky" to have such an unfortunate family to teach me experiences in life that not much have went through. But at times, this is a lonely ride, especially so when problems arises. As of now i m comtemplating on the fine line of being an unfilial son to a irresponsible father in ratting him out or perhaps to continue pretending like i have always done so infront of all my puzzling friends to whom i do not dare to invite back home or even the many ex girlfriends who never knew nor never understood but could only add insult to my injury.

Perhaps at the end of the day, i m just trying to flock together with birds of the same feather. If you have worn my shoes, perhaps we can walk together. The more the merrier, and lets cure our deepest psychological trauma afflicted since young.

Or am i just alone?

Tcsaaa SG

u r not the worst..

Summer hill SG

Please feel free to run away from your family.

FireIce SG

http://sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/330952

Findthesilverlining1989 SG

Dont get me wrong, i am definitely not the worst. In fact i think i am "fortunate" enough to experience life in a different level from some others. Although, i would certainly hope for a different and better dad, but i have the most amazing mum which i wouldnt change for anything. And i am really fortunate for this experience to push me to become a better man for my mother and my brother, a better leader in life, and definitely teach me to aspire to be the best father that my dad never could.

Haha, i am just trying my luck to see if there are anyone in similar shoes, whom could share experiences with one another, in hope to support and help each other out. Afterall, not many people can relate and it's always different to hear views coming from someone who has actually been through that hell life.

Feel free to PM me! =] cheers, and thanks for the help and replies! Have a great friday!

Summer hill SG

Feel free to PM me! =] cheers, and thanks for the help and replies! Have a great friday!

there are two extreme ends your family type will produce.

one, the very responsible person. which is you.

The second, the very very irresponsible. the one that gambles, get into fight, drinks, smokes, take drugs, skip school.