LostMyMind wrote:
“However life was not easy the last 2 years. Initially I took in my
sick mother-in-law on a fortnightly basis but have since become
permanent when she becomes bed-bound. I had to make my son give up
his room for my mother-in-law and the caretaker maid. My wife had
since shifted to my daughter’s room and my son to my room.”
Burden carried by you and your wife, gave you a depression.
LostMyMind wrote:
“Business wasn’t going well as my company had gathered a bad-debt
of over a million dollars and legal fees mounting to hundreds of
thousand dollars. In order to keep business going, I was without
salary for almost a year. I had to depend on my wife’s salary to
upkeep the family.”
Business is bad. Take it like this. Business failed and must do
something about it fast. Either let the business continue with new
investments and partners or sell it; and lastly just close it down.
See what you can do to earn a stable income in Singapore or leave
Singapore to open up a new business in a country that you feel its
good for business and provide your family a good quality life
again.
LostMyMind wrote:
“My wife had since become depressed worrying over her mother, our
children (they are not too bad but somehow I find that it can never
satisfied the mother). She would blamed me for encouraging my son
to take up subjects that she deem he was not interested. I had
thought it was the best for him since he was clueless after his o
level. He went on to diploma and a private university on the
subject I had encouraged . he wasn’t doing very well and being a
boy became interested in soccer often ending up late nights outside
watching the EPL. She would picked on him for
any things and often would end up quarrelling with him. My son
won’t give in and I’m caught in between. I would finally be blamed
for encouraging him to study the subjects.”
She is depressed and feel insecured because nothing good from
your business.
LostMyMind wrote:
“I am liberal and would encourage them to study a subject they like
so that in future jobs can become a hobby rather than a chore.
Therefore I encourage my daughter to follow her dreams. She was
good in drawing therefore went on to study game design. However
upon graduating, she took on a job that was not related to her
field. To make matter worse, she was not interested in her jobs and
had since become very attached to computer spending all her time
till late night on games and chatting. I got blamed again for
encouraging her to select the subject.”
Your problems with your wife affected your daughter and son I
guess. In Singapore, you can’t actually get a job you want to do as
a passion. Money is more important in Singapore for survival….no
more passion in her dream I guess.
LostMyMind wrote:
“Due to work stressed, my health wasn’t in good shape. I’ve been
diagnosed with high blood pressure and mild diabetes and put on
medication. My wife had always being sick every now and then
(hereditary), therefore always blaming herself for not bring up the
children properly. Every now and then she would bring up the
subject of selling the house to downgrade as we are no longer
young. I have often discourage her from selling as resale
HDB is ridiculously high and that the money
would be locked up in the cpf. At time I would lose my temper and
tell her to go ahead. We haven’t have any intimacy for 2 years
since we sleep separately and I often get rejected even touching
her. At time we end up quarrelling and she suggesting that I go
look for another one.”
Both of you are stressed out and burnout in life due to
financial burdens and difficulties. What are you going to do with
your financial problem and future….think carefully.
LostMyMind wrote:
“Talking to her becomes a chore. A simple conversation often end up
with her raising her voice in a bad manner. For example, she
complained that medical bill is expensive the this treatment and
ask her why because I paid way lesser for the same treatment. She
said she went in as a private patient while I went as a referral
from the polyclinics. I asked why she didn’t go polyclinic for
referral and the conversation ended with her raising her voice
saying why she should go to the polyclinic when her company is
paying for it. I often go home after work and would sit down to
watch TV and she would interrupted by saying that I have watched
the whole day and she wants to watch the other channel. Otherwise
she would comment that I should have pack the newspaper on the
table when I see them in a mess or that I should go do some
exercise instead. There’s definitely something to say. I’m tired
and sometime just don’t feel like talking to her anymore.”
She is blaming you for all the problems she is facing and the
family is facing. That makes her feel insecured and angry with
you.
LostMyMind wrote:
“Due to frustrations from work and home, I often went alone to the
coffee shop for a drink and 6 months ago, I met this Vietnamese
beer lady. She was sort of fun to communicate with and I found
myself laughing again. We often talk about anything and her life in
Vietnam before coming to Singapore and I became quite interested.
We become quite friendly and in fact, I found myself being jealous
when I saw a male driving her to work. I do not understand as I
have no relationship with her other than being the “other closed
customer”. I think I still love my wife who had sacrifice for the
family.”
You feel frustrated within you for all the problems you are
facing and you are also seeking for help and morale support which
is lacking in your family now. You want some form of advise via a
friend which you can just talk to for listening ears but that or
those friends of yours have their own problems and family now. You
tend to be aloner now which you find very unsatisfying until you
see someone is interested in listening to you and talking to you
like that Vietnamese beer lady (Sales Demonstrator).
LostMyMind wrote:
“What is happening to me?”
You feel alive and wanted again after meeting that Vietnamese
girl. You are not able to make it should you go against your own
conscience….it only going to add more problems in your life
now….your downfall if you proceed with you infactuation for
her.
