shyness or lack of confidence?

potatoes_chips SG

I`ve always been targeted as being a shy person, but I do think there is like a huge difference between shyness and having low self-esteem. And I think that my issue is definitelly low self-esteem. So for the people who found themselves in similar situations, you might be pretty familiar to being bullied even tough you might be pretty, smart, a nice person, etc. just because people who get bullied are the ones who have low self-esteem and not only being bullied makes you be low self-esteem. There are people in this world who seem ti be able to identify when someone`s self-esteem is not very high, although they are all social, happy, friendly and out-going, just because it reads (who has this problem knows it most probably) and then they start picking on you and trying to get you down, just to take advantage of your low self-esteem. Have you ever found yourself in situations where you start doing things you wouldn`t have normally done or without doing anything are being acussed of stuff and being bullied for now specific reason and when analyzing it more into detail you see it`s all caused by your lack of self-esteem, just because you don`t really believe in yourself and in your own power / abilities? How do you deal with this kind of situations?

NeverSayGoodBye SG

since you already know your weakness is low self-esteem, its time to bulit up your self confidence. When you've more self confidence, your self-esteem will increase. Mix around with people you think have lots of self confidence, watch and learn from them. Stay away from negative people, they can only drag your self esteem even lower.

If you're shy initially, go to the library and borrow books on boosting self esteem. Get some tips from there and practice on yourself first.

jojobeach SG

Bullies are themselves people with low self-esteem, that's why they pick on people they perceived to be weaker than them..

A bully will not pick on one that is stronger because these bullies know they cannot win.

Bullies are not up for challenges...Bullies needed to know they can win, that's how they can feel validated.

Bullies are actually more socially flawed than the victims they picked on.

For you, I think you lack social skills. Luckily, social skills are acquired, no one is borned with social skills.

We all went through a phase of social awkwardness, then we observe and we learn how to interact with other people. Then we attain social confidence.

A child that grows up in an suppressed family environment , ( where parents do not allow freedom of expressions, more often in an Asian family ).. typically do not pick up social skills untill much later.

I suggest you read more to obtain a wide range of knowledge...helps with conversation..etc..

Try to be more approachable.., be a little more adventurous... etc.. helps to open up your personality.

When we are well prepared... we will feel safe.. and we will dare to do more. Then your self-confidence will start to increase.

TheAlphaMale SG

Call it whatever you want. The point is to take action. I used to be very introverted and for a while I accepted it as "who I was". People like to tell you that you are alright just the way you are. That's bullshit. Society has shaped us to be socially and psychologically malformed that it takes great effort and awareness to break out of it, some more easily than others.

Since you know you have a problem/unhappiness. Fix it. Find people who are willing to walk the path WITH you. It'll help.

[imdestinyz] SG

will TS be back to read this post?

SJS6638 SG

he too shy to come back to read