His clients get so lonely that they make a move on him. And it's
not just the women.
Mr John Vasavan deals with warring couples and unfaithful spouses.
His job is to help salvage marriages which are on the rocks.
And he knows a thing or two about why spouses stray, and what to do
to avoid being trapped in an illicit affair.
Says the 52-year-old, who has worked as a marriage counsellor for
the past two decades: "Sometimes, they stalk us through e-mail,
asking to meet up, asking us to come over to their place..."
Happily married for about 20 years himself, he is very cautious
about clients who get "touchy" during counselling sessions.
In such cases, he usually makes sure they are properly attired
before offering a comforting pat on the back.
He explains: "Some women come for counselling scantily clad. So I
make sure to pass them a blanket or jacket before any physical
contact happens.
"I also always sit facing the door or window, so that people can
see us. You must learn to protect yourself, you know," says the
father of three, aged 15 to 19.
Before setting up his own practice a decade ago, Mr Vasavan
enrolled for counselling courses and took on cases as a volunteer
at the Singapore Planned Parenthood Association.
He went on to pursue a Masters in Counselling at the University of
South Australia.
After 20 years of helping couples through tough times, he declares
that the number one reason for marriages running into problems is
not enough talk.
Wives, for instance, can get so caught up with their kids, they
stop communicating properly with their husbands.
And when the children grow up and the women want to reconnect, it
may be too late - the husband has already become engrossed in other
activities.
But the question remains: Why do people cheat on their spouses?
Read the full story here, or click
on the thumbnails to find out what are the top signs of a cheating
spouse.
Signs
of a cheating spouse, according to divorce lawyer Datuk Mohd Zaidi
Zain: Sex and intimacy is an important part of a relationship. A
noticeable change or loss of interest in this area points to a
problem in your relationship. (Photo:TNP)
all wrong. at the end of the day, it all comes down to lack of
respect and self-control. if you have both, you will definitely
have ways to fix the problems, initially by having heart to heart
talk with each other, like unsatisfactoriness of sex. if not, no
way to get out of it. sadly, there are people who enjoy the thrill
of committing adultery.
