Ok. I just wanted to start off by saying that i DO have friends.
We all do have friends but my circle of friends is not that many.
Less than 10 as I can say. After my secondary school years, I went
to ITE and friends over there is just hi and bye sort of thing. So
i visit this forum called sgcafe (how do i know about this forum?
long story lol). During that year, it was so active and lots of
outing as i can remember. I'm really happy to be part of this forum
and i made friends there and it became quite close to me. So close
that we make outings of our own and not posted it on forum. Two
years passed by and slowly the people i knew drifted away .. as in
they no longer meet each other. I only left with 3-4 people that i
knew of and days passed by, we no longer meet each other because of
NS and/or busy with other things.
So I moved here... sgforums. And to my luck, during that time i
visited this place.. it was quite popular. Outings at few parts in
this forum. I remembered join in two outings of this forum, I
remember one with some guy named callan and bak la va. Then after
that, i got quite busy with exams, work and then went to out of
country. After i returned to singapore, I found it is quite late
for me. As this forum getting quieter and quieter.. it kinda kills
me inside. I tried to reach bak la va but she changed her hp i
think because her line is no longer available.
Times passes by to this year, I heard about sgclub. I joined in
and another luck for me, they made an outing and i got invited thru
some random pm from one of the moderators. Then i've been thinking,
i wanted to go but.... why am i like this? am i really this
desparate to find friends? I mean... i do have one of my best
friend but now he's in NS. I cant just only stick to him. I wanted
to open wide of my social circle but is this really the way? I miss
hanging out with people at sgcafe but we no longer meet each other.
So im guessing im doing all these is because i miss having fun.
You are just deperate to be "POPULAR".
Being popular is not the same as having true friends.. True
friends can be counted within your 10 fingers... true friends you
only need a few good ones.
Popularity is only to in-validate your inner fear..
perhaps you are worried that you are not a likeable person.... But
when you are invited to big social event , you tell/ validate
yourself " see... people still want me to be there and hangout with
them, so surely I am a likeable person.. right ?" You have inner
doubts, you are using popularity to dispel your inner doubts...
But being popular doesn't fill that void of having no true
friend...popularity is the wrong yardstick to value yourself.
You can be very popular.. and at the same time.. feel
very lonely inside.
True friends are the ones that fulfill part of you. The other
part is yourself.
You have to like yourself first... after that.. everything is
secondary.
I get invited to big parties.. but that's just part of social
life... we exchange names, contact, we net work.. if we have
lohbang.. we call each other.. if we got no mutually beneficial
involvment..we throw their name cards away... it's all very
superficial.
My "social acquaintances" don't get their nose in my personal
life... if I have personal issues... I don't go to them... I go to
my true friends and family... and i keep only a few close ones.
However.. if you just wanna be "popular"... all you need is a
LOT of lohbang for others to take advantage of... so they see the
value of inviting you to their social network... and keeping you
there.....else you simply fade away..
Once you come out to work.. you will understand the value of
net-working.. and why they will rarely be adding on to your small
circle of close friends.
Of cors.. I'm not saying you stop going to social
events... it is very fun.. , exciting and
enjoyable... you should enjoy meeting new people..
but don't count on those events to fullfil that void inside
yourself.