feeling lousy

Angjaydyn SG

anyone of you had a situation where by your friend often finding you a target to lambast?
and all you feel is shocked / lost?
like why on earth she scold me for?

just got scolded recently by 2 friends on 2 separate occassions.
and now i find it's hard to find real friends when you reach adulthood.

funny thing is after they scold me, they said i am very soft and even tell me i should not be so soft. (the 2 dont know each other)

whenever situations happen, they hit me very hard because i care a lot for my friends and loved ones.

so i am feeling very lousy now.

oldbreadstinks SG

anyone of you had a situation where by your friend often finding you a target to lambast?
and all you feel is shocked / lost?
like why on earth she scold me for?

just got scolded recently by 2 friends on 2 separate occassions.
and now i find it's hard to find real friends when you reach adulthood.

funny thing is after they scold me, they said i am very soft and even tell me i should not be so soft. (the 2 dont know each other)

whenever situations happen, they hit me very hard because i care a lot for my friends and loved ones.

so i am feeling very lousy now.

the older you get the less friends you have. sometimes they scold you out of goodwill. whether that's the case only you know.

ocassionally you may also meet some people who have the need to put others down so that they feel better themselves.

jojobeach SG

anyone of you had a situation where by your friend often finding you a target to lambast?
and all you feel is shocked / lost?
like why on earth she scold me for?

just got scolded recently by 2 friends on 2 separate occassions.
and now i find it's hard to find real friends when you reach adulthood.

funny thing is after they scold me, they said i am very soft and even tell me i should not be so soft. (the 2 dont know each other)

whenever situations happen, they hit me very hard because i care a lot for my friends and loved ones.

so i am feeling very lousy now.

If you don't want to be lambasted.

You need to learn to keep your mouth shut and stop moaning and complaining about every little setbacks in your life.

I get it that sometimes women especially... love to complain... it's just to get some support and agreement ..we use it as a tool to conversation. you don't really want them to solve the problem for you....becuase you think you are JUST sharing.

BUT...when you constantly moan and complain... some friends may think you you are just WEAK and UNABLE to resolve issues on your own. Learned-self helplessness.

They are not there to rip you down... they thought they were administering "TOUGH LOVE". They are teaching you how not to be a victim...

But because you are just there to moan... you actually don't want to do what they tell you... so you act wishy washy as a form of rejection .... giving lame excuse after lame excuse... in the end.. your friends get frustrated and start to lambast you....

I suggest you go read the book "

However... i'm quite sure you are never gonna go read that book anyway.. because that's not what you want to hear...what you want is a pityfest... you want us to support you and vilify your "friends"....so you feel validated.

Your life will be a constant flow of complaining and moaning.. and how people don't want to understand you..... then you will eventually realise.. why is it you have less and less friends.. and your family start to stay away from you....the end is never a good one.

So , it's up to you... blaming others will not help... you need to change yourself.

M the name SG

For your info, the kids below the picture are "friends", maybe seeing this will make you feel better on what "true" friends are and you might like to spend time in improve yourself or thinking about what to do with your future instead wasting time having hard feeling on why your friends are being nasty :

zulkifli mahmood SG

anyone of you had a situation where by your friend often finding you a target to lambast?
and all you feel is shocked / lost?
like why on earth she scold me for?

just got scolded recently by 2 friends on 2 separate occassions.
and now i find it's hard to find real friends when you reach adulthood.

funny thing is after they scold me, they said i am very soft and even tell me i should not be so soft. (the 2 dont know each other)

whenever situations happen, they hit me very hard because i care a lot for my friends and loved ones.

so i am feeling very lousy now.

As you grow older you learned. There are people to you that may seemed cruel to you when they spoke to you straight forward. It is better for them to speak like that to you so you would get the picture and meaning clearly rather than for them going around the bush to let you know what you should know. Other people can see your situation better sometimes than your own self. There are many people outthere. Though they may have the same natural hair colour, their hearts are different. I feel that the closest person you should talk about this matter is your own husband first before you approach your own family members, friends and strangers. Welcome to the real world.

angel7030 SG

Well if you know Chinese, just take is as 打是爱，骂是关心, then maybe you will not feel so lousy.

Come thursday nite to my ladynite pub, I make sure you be happy again, and I can personally teach you the art of Scolding

MIMI the Garfield cat SG

Well if you know Chinese, just take is as 打是爱，骂是关心, then maybe you will not feel so lousy.

Come thursday nite to my ladynite pub, I make sure you be happy again, and I can personally teach you the art of Scolding

Sex是爱，Lick是关心

angel7030 SG

Kick that Garfield out of my way!!!

troublemaker2005 SG

ANgel todae 26th Oct is my birthday. you wanna wish me happy BD?>

Ailouros SG

whenever situations happen, they hit me very hard because i care a lot for my friends and loved ones.

so i am feeling very lousy now.

Firstly, your self-worth ideally should not be built on the opinions or approval of others. It should be anchored on yourself and what's best for you.

Secondly, your friends may or may not have the best intentions for you when they scold you, and then admonish you for being 'soft'. I know there are some who believe in a harsher way of 'education' i.e. swim or sink method, but I think a nurturing and supportive environment is more conducive to building up a person, friend or family member.

Third, it's natural to feel lousy after being caught in such a situation. I hope however that you are not in that 'lousy' mood for too long. Talk to your friend about how their actions make you feel lousy and that you prefer that they accept you for who you are, or at the very least explain how you can 'toughen' yourself up and not be too 'soft'.

Cheers

Saleem.saeed68 SG

you should not feel lousy about that instead you should be happy to know your friends true colours :)

True friends alway care about each other and make them selves happy..

I think you should read this blog about how to deal with those kind of friends and boost your confidence.. its a long blog and i couldn't paste it here ..

anyway you can visit http://ow.ly/faXwJ

mr music SG

A tight slap will make ones message across more effectively.

troublemaker2005 SG

tight lap won;t work on deaf friends hehehhey

troublemaker2005 SG

naruto the pangsai?

Andylim348 SG

I also feel the same way as well.

Sometimes, I feel as if my friends are putting me down.

They tell half-truths and half-lies, they say I promise them things and then renege on it

I really quite sympathize with your situation