It's a painful
revelation when we are coerced to conclude that we cannot achieve
the best of both worlds at our current state. Much as we would like
to see it happening in our real world, perhaps the nature of our
choice does not allow smooth harmonious blending of these different
pictures into a beautiful symphony. Sometimes, some pictures are
mutually exclusive and cannot co-exist simultaneously.
At the age of being in your late 30s, it is natural to see how
the developmental stage of needing to settle down and the
importance of a stable relationship are important for you
personally. Then again, sometimes, it may not be how much
understanding she knows about your religion to accept you, but the
key question lies whether are you able to accept the possibility
that she might not be able to accept your religion and
some of these values that you have already explained so
patiently? Are you able to reconcile with yourself that by making
the choice to remain in the relationship, there is a possibility
that you might have to live with the struggle of having to making
difficult choices between being a good Christian and the image of a
good boyfriend?
Just a small disclaimer: I am not saying a good boyfriend means
having to give up your love for God - what I am trying to say is
that both pictures in your quality world are important to you
because they obviously satisfy certain personal/spiritual needs -
the thoughts of having make choices between them can be pure
excruciating.
If being a good Christian (in which I am referring to your
regular financial support, community involvement and other personal
effort) is something that is non-negotiable for you, then naturally
this relationship would become an expendable option.
P.S: The sphere of religious influence can be very powerful.
However, do note that ultimately, you would have to make a
committed choice and decide what you want and what is important to
you. Just remember at the end of the day, nobody is going to live
with the prospect of being single and its associated feelings (e.g.
loneliness) or the fear in spiritual punishment/deprivation of
spiritual reward other than yourself. 
Cheers
Yes spot on about values. Her values and my values are very
different. You see, when I ask my friends who are not of my
religious affiliation, they don't seem to understand, they just
say, go for it, for the sake of love. For me, its a clash of
enormous differences. Worldly sense, we both may click well, we
both like statistics and talk about politics but in the value sense
we differ far apart. My religion teaches me not to love the things
of the world of materialism, to seek the eternal spiritual gifts.
Her religion teaches her that doing good all the time is the key
and making lots of money is good. My religion teaches me that doing
good all the time, won't save us because it is impossible to
reconcile ourselves to god because we as mere human beings have
neither the capacity to impress god but the only way is thru the
god's appointed saviour. Her religion despise my religion because
they think my religion is arrogant and hipocrite. While my religion
is free for everybody, everybody has free will so as long they do
it out of love and obedience to god.
I foresee, if i were to continue this relationship, it is going
to explode into enormous argument, very unpleasant. And if I were
to move from the dating stage into relationship, if it doesn't work
out, i be sucked into the emotional pain of break-up. And likely to
hurt her feelings too, not to mention, strengthen her hatred for
people who follow my religion.
I am in a huge dilemna. There are not a lot of people follow my
religion so it is hard for me to find a soul mate there. At my
religious place, always mismatch, no ladies there are compatible.
On the other hand, on teh scene of people not affiliated with my
religion, I find a lot of ladies have commonality with me.
Unfortunately we clash in terms of religion.
Its really hard to find somebody like her. But she goes to her
religion and chant prayers which hurt me spiritually, everytime she
says that. My religion is very spiritual and her continuation in
dwelling in her religion with all those chanting, affects me deeply
because she is somebody i try to foresee as my future wife.
It is very difficult for both of us, time and time, almost we
almost held hands, but we both balk back, because of hesitation. We
foresee a very uncertain future.
