Mancha and jojo, thanks so much for the advice I’ll try to stay
away from her. But my parents.. they want us to bond so we always
have family time together so it’s hard. Today when I overheard a
conversation of my sis with my parents and she was speaking ill of
me again, trying to put me down. And no matter how I try to defend
myself, my sis will always find a way to make my parents believe
her. (my sis is very good with her words, she does sales, and is
doing extremely well in her career)
What i don’t understand is that.. she’s already much more
successful than me. She earns so much each month and I’m just a
student with no income. She always says that everyone should
respect her simply because she’s earning alot each month and that
she looks down on her friends because they are poor as compared to
her. And then she provokes me, saying that I’m useless because I am
not earning as much as her. And then… I do allow her words to get
to me and that’s when I’ll cry and she’ll spread it to my parents
and her friends that i’ve depression and that i’m some weird emo
freak.
I just want her to stop all her rubbish blabbering. The problem
is that I can’t stop her and I can’t just detach from her because I
know my parents wants me to bond with her. arghhhhhhhhh
All parents wish for one big happy family. They can try, but
most time they will fail.
They think as long as they push hard enough, the square peg will
fit into a round hole.
Pushing only creates more conflict. Damaging the relationship
more than repairing.
They need to back off. understand the differences between u and
your sibling. Give both of you personal space.
When she was talking bad behind your back, why didn't u walk up
to them and confront her ?
Are you afraid of your sis ? If yes, why ?
It's time u stand up to her. Stop the self helplessness
thoughts.
Ask her, why she keeps back stabbing you. Tell her to stop the
hate mongering.
Why she hates you so much.
Why can't she just leave u alone ?
When she start to diss in in front of others, you need to speak
up and ask her " what is it you are trying to accomplish now by
saying such hateful words?".
"now that you have mercilessly put me down, are you happier
?"
The trick is not to defend yourself, but put the ball back in
her court. The more you try to defend, the more she wants to
attack.
Your parents cannot force you to be part of the family
gathering. They can only Guilt u into going. But u can always
choose to stay away.
If your parents ask why u don't join in anymore, simply tell
them, you don't enjoy being there especially with your sis around.
Dont need to beat around the bush, just tell them the truth.
Your parents will not be able to do much . YOU can . You are not
as weak s you think.
Your sis may earn a lot, but her insecurities are showing
through thick.
Sales jobs are not stable income. Sometimes they can earn a lot,
some times they don't.
A person who lacks inner peace , acts hostile to others she see
as threats.
If you do well in your studies, you may one day out earn your
sis. Perhaps that's why she hope for you to fail now.
If your parents use the guilt tactic to make you go do the
"bonding" , tell them this. Mom/pa, I love u, and I do want to make
you happy too. But forcing me to bond with a person who does not
want me, will only hurt me more.
If u love me and care about my feelings, you will not want me to
be unhappy just to make you happy, right ?
Pic they want to enjoy some together time with you, they can,
without your sis.
