bottling up problems

last SG · 2012-04-27T21:21:24+00:00

Oldies need lot of reminding, excusable, and as they get older and older, they start to hallucinate and become childish again, Understandable

aunty joanne SG

Can someone enlighten me? I dont understand why some people always keep their sorrows and problems in their hearts and never want to speak up…... even to their spouse, family members, close relatives, or good friends. I know telling others your problems may not help you solve it, but at lease there are someone close will willing to standby with you. You are not alone to face it…..It is because of ‘face’ or pride???

QX179R SG

perhaps they don't wish to bother or burden that particular someone so that's why they rather chose to keep it to themselves lor..

gunner77 SG

For me, its because no point tell others my problems.

You will never understand what im going through until you been through it yourself.

Summer hill SG

Because, as people we all have our insecurities and doubts, to tell a close friend would involve the chance that it will inevitably be brought up again in conversation, topped with the fact that someone that matters to you could possibly see it as a weakness, and/or a negative reflection on you as a person. When it's a stranger, it couldn't matter less what they think of you. And depending on their reaction, you have the option to become close, or run like crazy, and never talk to them again. But I've done both with my sad stories about my past, too. And if you've got a story, you should share it as part of who you are.

aunty joanne SG

That’s particular someone close is willing to standby to listen….... Who knows what you go through others may not been through before, or understand if you choose not to speak up…......
Do you think by keeping all to yourself is good???

aunty joanne SG

Thanks for all the advice. I am not the one choose to keep quiet, infact I am willing to listen to others points of view. But I am sad when I know someone (close) is facing problems and cannot solve by themselve, yet they choose to keep quiet hopping the problems will go away…..

lce SG

Listen? any use? can u solve?

90% of man problems is $$$, 90% of woman problems is man

mancha SG

You don't understand.

That maybe the problem.

Sky_Blue223 SG

Echoing the above responses, I would also like to add that while others may know what that person has gone through, they would never know what that person have felt. And they, who didn't experience those things first-handed, tend to simplify the problem and just shake it off as the person feeling 'emo'. This aggravates the feeling of <no one (bothers to) understands me>, leading to a further draw-back syndrome.

To TS response, expressing sadness/sympathy isn't what they want. From my experience, they just want someone to listen to them and give them a hug. Hugs are infectious.

If you feel that you can't get through their tough exterior, it is because they have suffered a great deal and have locked themselves up. Time and sincerity will shake the spirit.

To leave off,

Love can move snow-covered mountains, exposing the bright and beautiful sun to the shining valley below, warming a once cold, heartland

:)

troublemaker2005 SG

those that tok lots of rot to othes are only not facing it .

i know i have a problem - i face it and solve it.

when i tell others my problem - is usually to borrow money

StriveOn SG

For people who is very close, like wifey, can still talk about sensitive problems.

Beyond that, no point. Like what Sky_Blue says, others tend to simplify the problem without understanding the issues related to it.

As an example, I cannot get a job (because of a host of reasons, FT, Cheaper alternatives, old age, etc.). But people will just simplify it and says "don't be so picky, lower your expectations". But does it work that way in real life. Only when the other party experiences it himself/herself, then only the full impact of the situation can be understood.

But my wifey will understand me.

StriveOn SG

After living for more than half a century in this world, I realised only one person will stick by you and give you sound advice, at least to the best of your knowledge, and help you solve your problems.

YOURSELF.

StriveOn SG

We can only talk about problems, when it is not our problem.

Or when it is thrown onto the table for discussion.

At least stupid and hurting remarks do not hurt you.

Summer hill SG

TS,you not a concerned aunty, but a kpo aunty.

speakoutfor SG

I know a person who used to complain his problems out. Then his girlfriend tell him to shut up because she can't stand his complaining. To her, she regard it as a sign of his inability to take lead and she began to insult him and say he is useless, gutless, etc. So he shut up.

Then later on, she ask him why he never tell her his problems and never trust her with sharing the burden of his problems.

In two words, he told me "vomit blood".

troublemaker2005 SG

aunty kpo - pls don;t stand and fart from the mouth in the middle of the road. becasue i like to band into them and let them know i own the road when you kaypo in the middle of where you shouldn't

angel7030 SG

Aiya Aunty, why so busybody, cannot understand, then sit down lor. You care people so much for what, times up, if like, gives some token for funneral, if not, just let it pass lor.

troublemaker2005 SG

next tim you also becum like anuty kpoh

angel7030 SG

Next time, next time then say lah, dunno if can pass today or not, talk so much for what!!

troublemaker2005 SG

at least i don;t bottle up my thoughts - and i say it out loud to you i luv u like that right>?