stiuation with a friend

redname SG

ok, i got into a sticky stiuation with a female friend, hope you guys can help me.

there's this friend tht i just know for a month and have been going out regularly for a week or so. She's the type that like to let pple guess things, eg her job, her age etc...

being the idiot that i am, i actually went to google it up and found some answers with only the intention to know whether i'm correct or not and with the thot that it's just for fun.

i told her abt it and she got kind of upset, saying that i shldn't be searching her information as there's things that she she has yet felt comfortable to share with me yet, so i gave her a call to explain myself and to assure her that i have no ill-intentions or whatsoever cause if i do have, i wldn't have tld her abt it.

We ended up have a chat abt it and i felt at least i know her a bit better now.

at night, i texted her and said "hey i know this sounds crazy but i'm kind of glad this happened cause at least we gotta know each other a bit better. hope you feel the same way too."

she ans "well i rather this didn't happened"

i ans "aiyah, what happened has happen already. we can only try to make the best out of it and move on from it correct?"

from then on, she didn't replied.

anyone can help me on this? i hope i didn't blow this up big time, i do still want to remain in good terms with her

single_alone SG

ask her for 1 night stand?

FunGuyWorkaholic SG

this is not an advice but i think u r too nice n too polite... girls dun like that. be like Anthony Edward "Tony" Stark!

eat steaks, kill aliens, fuck bitches!

redname SG

this is not an advice but i think u r too nice n too polite... girls dun like that. be like Anthony Edward "Tony" Stark!

eat steaks, kill aliens, fuck bitches!

to be fair, this is the only incident that i'm being too nice to her.

she always complains that i bully her

redname SG

ask her for 1 night stand?

u serious?

JelloPoop SG

Ya right....If she so concern about her info why did she publish it on the internet for everyone to see.

You think you are bullying her only but see what she did to you, she made you feel guilty emotionally for searching up her public info and made you insult yourself also in the process HAHAHAHA

You = 笨蛋, puppy man!!!

redname SG

Ya right....If she so concern about her info why did she oublish it on the internet for everyone to see.

You think you are bullying her only but see what she did to you, she made you feel guilty emotionally for searching up her public info and made you insult yourself also in the process HAHAHAHA

You = 笨蛋, puppy man!!!

she didn't publish it lah, i found some info of her from some lucky draw she won couple of yrs back, in other words, the info wasn't put up on the net by her.

ok, will note on ur comment

redname SG

hmmm, so what do i do now to so call "get the ball back in her court"?

i do want to keep this frenship but i'm aware of not being too nice with this gal and do not want to be either cause i have a feeling she's a player and certainly knows how to play the game.

is it possible to be in ctrl of my own game but still let her feel or think she's the player?

FireIce SG

hohoho

犯大忌

u can delete her from your contact list liao

(cos she probably deleted urs)

JelloPoop SG

BASKET!!! means she is probably creeped out by you lo!!!

If shes a player, then be one of the few men who are resistant to her playing lo. Will work 2 ways, either she will keep wondering and try to find out why you're resistant to her charms unlike other guys who fall over head in love with her and become her puppy dog or she will just bochup you cause she know many other guys will fall head over heels for her even if she dun have you.

Never put the ball in her court...be in your own fuking court and set the rules and if she don't want to come play with you on your rules then move on la. That way she'll know you're serious and will decide if she wants to know you or not. Instant direct answer yea? Also dun be like the other puppy dogs la....-_- be unique ok? BE A MAN!

Women will use their emotion as a weapon against guys sometimes to make themselves feel abd about the things they do. Best thing to call out their bullshit and you arent wrong when you said ""aiyah, what happened has happen already. we can only try to make the best out of it and move on from it correct?" Shes just being a little bitch thats all.

redname SG

hohoho

犯大忌

u can delete her from your contact list liao

(cos she probably deleted urs)

she just replied me actually

redname SG

BASKET!!! means she is probably creeped out by you lo!!!

i'm aware she'll be creeped out, tht's y i gave her a call.

1stly, to make sure she's fine (well at least she picked up the call) and 2ndly to assure her that i have no ill intentions. of cus i can't say whether it worked or not lor, time will tell perhaps.

hmmm, will it help in this situation by ignoring her? my intention is to let things cool down 1st and also see whether she's serious in this frenship. what i'm afraid is that if she's really a player, she'll know what to do in this situation too

JelloPoop SG

Not ignoring her la...but call her out by telling her she shouldnt be so childish about such stuff la...not asking you to scold her also but who the fuk in the world would get so upset over such stuff....even if shes someone you like its no exception ...Just beecause you like her means she can step on your head meh..have some dignity la..girls like sincere guy who believe in their own principal and morals and not puppy men who pretend to be nice and let them twist and turn about -_- of cause you have to compromise sometimes la but not over such trival matters wad..

FireIce SG

so....... is there a problem now?

redname SG

hmmm, i do think that my msg to her abt "wat's happened has happen" is already clear enough to her tht she doesn't need to behave like this.

in this situation, I am standing by my principles. I'm someone when faced with tension between a friend, will try to sort it out by talking, reasoning etc...

if she doesn't take it aft me trying, then i'll forget abt it and move on unless tht fren is very dear to me

redname SG

so....... is there a problem now?

seriously i don't know cause women are women, their "ok, it's alright" might mean other things

JelloPoop SG

But don't ignore her la...handle this with maturity. Still can be friends..be magnanimous and just talk to her normally but let her know that you have already put the matter behind you and likewise if she wants to be mature about it you can still be very good friend :) Also good time to test her if she feels its really ok or alright or really just saying only.

Woman are more emotional and sometimes take longer to cool down then guys :) Give it time la :) They also human need time to think through their emotions.

redname SG

Woman are more emotional and sometimes take longer to cool down then guys :) Give it time la :) They also human need time to think through their emotions.

ok, the most i can think of now is most prob just let things cool off for a few days, perhaps just dnt contact her until ard fri then just give her a text and ask how's things.

BabylonPunkette SG

The knee-jerk reaction could mean that she didn't expect you to bring it out so openly. I am one of those who behaves - like this - in return when the unexpected happens. However, the lack of interaction on her part after the episode doesn't correctly interpret that she's avoiding you. Maybe she needed that "time-out" to digest what you have just told her. You are fortunate to know and witness someone who's trying to pick up her own pieces and face the reality.

There are those who would rather avoid the (long-term) struggle to clarify when being confronted of something they are not comfortable to talk about. (I belong to this category.)

You need to take a step back to understand that the struggle is not about facing you and addressing your concerns alone, but the "inner struggles" that have been holding her back from confiding in you.

Secondly, I am genuinely befuddled by what you wrote in your first post and in subsequent ones. There wasn't a clear indication of your (romantic) interest in her in your first post. Subsequent posts told otherwise. So was that part of the reason that caused her to back off because that took her by surprise?

Ihatemen SG

it sounds like your friend is a secretive person. Since you cannot undo the mistake, you can assure that you will keep her information private and confidential and wont sabo her. Then she will feel at ease.

If she continue to ignore you then you can forget about this relationship. If she still talks to you then there is still hope for you.