Advice: Could a younger girl like an older guy like me?

last SG · 2012-04-01T19:29:34+00:00

I am 38 this year and still single. Reason being that i had a motorcycle accident when I was 27 and I needed a couple of ops to replace my hip and spinal cor...

troublemaker2005 SG

youmust worry when u married mate your hips and pelvic area when functioning will go haywire or not. like me i 50 years old and angel 23 yo - isay no problem 1.

my salary only a little bit ony - but a lot of people say my salary a lot. i just ignore them. because on teh road they want to know me act blur ask direction i boh chap them. so they make up a lot of stories about me. like my salsry a lot lah, i strike 4D toto lah, i throws rape their cats lah (when actually i raped their doggs). this and that. they make the stories until its true. in mrt also want to touch me here and there lah, if i react they happy, as long as i react they happy becaus ei react they happy

its all in the mind- if you happy ypu happy, if for small things you not happy, you will never be happy. why young that time act havock right chiong motor and buang - now you learn lession alreay? wanna chiong again?

but u got lah no work for 4 years. my record only 1year 9 months - play oblivion whole day nothing better to do

Oldkamhouse SG

I'm in agreement with posters suggesting a less intrusive approach. Befriend the lady and take things slowly, avoid being too fixated on the outcome for now. Good luck.

Agree.

I am thinking of just making small talk. Like if I find out a lady is working as a doctor, I just ask about her vocation and how it relates to my problem such as if I suffer from sinus problem. Usually I join this bunch of people, we just have a drink and talk. But I notice the guys are bunched up in one place and the ladies bunched up in another place, so its difficult to get into conversation with the ladies.

My thinking is that if I can just observe one of the guys go over to talk to the ladies, I would just slowly nudge into their conversation, firstly, listening to what they say. Perhaps I can register their conversation and next round of conversation in the later weeks, I can turn it into my own conversation with the ladies. For instance if one of the guys ask a lady about where is the best gym to exercise. I just listen and then go back home ask friends and check the internet about gyms - then next week, i try to turn it into my conversation with that lady.

Also I better time my conversation. After just like 5 min if she don't show any interest to go on, I better move to the next conversation with someone else.

This gathering is not exactly a dating gathering. Its a gathering among young working youths. So some people may not like it if I shower too much attention to a lady, maybe she doesn't like that too.

But at the end of the day, I just got to be friendly to both guys and girls. Also, to take into account that I sure face some rudeness if i try to make conversation with the guys and girls. Maybe they just aren't interested to talk to a newcomer like me. Got to be thick skin a bit.

troublemaker2005 SG

Agree.

Also I better time my conversation. After just like 5 min if she don't show any interest to go on, I better move to the next conversation with someone else.

This gathering is not exactly a dating gathering. Its a gathering among young working youths. So some people may not like it if I shower too much attention to a lady, maybe she doesn't like that too.

your obstacles are the guys and girls friends. have them out of teh way. this lady your colleagues where you know here. shouldn't be too difficult to have a time alone wiht her noone around and pick up conversation? trust me sometimes it is better not to have to manyyof the 'friends; in teh way. leran to hunt alone. you should build up your finaancial stability. any wise later to be a wife knows this is important factor. if you have a decent car for transport moving aourd is good. but only if you can afford it - you know yourself. otehrsiwe you can forget about girls who only thinks about cars - they lazy to walk.

Just_do_it_lah SG

Yeah...

ask her out for a date.....

wear this....

just kidding.... dun take it too seriously....

Rock^Star SG

Just try. If rejected, just move on. Strike a small conversation in whatever you're comfortable with. If she's interested even a little, she will entertain you no matter what. Just don't take it as if she's your entire dream and hope. That's how the courtship game plan is.

winsomeea SG

Just make sure you don't appear to be overly desperate to scare her off.

I notice many guys in Singpapore have the propensity to be desperate and this scare gals off.

Oldkamhouse SG

I drive a very lousy old toyota car. The car was a 1990s model.

It is not the difficulty of having time alone with her. In fact I can imagine if I can be aggressive. But the world doesn't work like this. I have seen a friend at school used to be very aggressive and desperate. He wanted to go after the most pretty and popular girl at school, only to be taught a big lesson. Know what? Fact is she didn't like him at all so she chose the most undesirable girl at school to go harass him every day. He was forced to date that girl. I could the misery in his face.

I think first move is to show your sincerity in making friends. So trick is, is to try to make my conversation more formal, friendly and short. THis is to make her at ease. Maybe one short 5 min small talk can give a big future impression. If she is interested to talk to me in the next round we meet again, she probably come over and chat. If not, then I suppose I didn't make that much of an impression, move on. So, thank goodness, I didn't offend anyone or make anyone think that I am up to no good.

About waiting to build one's own security, I think one should not wait until one is established because by then, one doesn't have the time to seek relationship. I have known a guy who is rich, have career, live in his own million dollar condo and drives a merc, yet he is single because he is too busy with his work.

Oldkamhouse SG

Just make sure you don't appear to be overly desperate to scare her off.

I notice many guys in Singpapore have the propensity to be desperate and this scare gals off.

Yes just small talk and make it short.

Let me tell you a funny story. One night after a meeting at a friend's house, we bunch of people decided to go to a restaurant to eat. So at first one of them told us to go this restaurant. Because i was new to the gang, I didn't want to hang around to talk at the house, I jumped into my car and went straight to the restaurant. There's one girl, she's only 25, but really beautiful and has long hair. She also has her own car (thanks to her rich dad) and she went straight to the destination. The others decided to car pool.

By the time I reached the restaurant, she also reached it the same time. So we both went in and waited for some time. I had a small chat with her. I thought this was bizarre, me sitting with that beautiful and awesome looking girl. Then after 30 minutes, nobody turned up. She was beginning to show concern and worry. I inform her that maybe we got the wrong place? So she decided to call the rest of them and ask them where they went.

It turns out that the rest of the gang decided to change the venue of the restaurant to another place (nearby), they all thought me and her left home early. She ask them to quickly come to this restaurant because she and I were there.

Then in 15 minutes they all came and joined us. I can see she was quite uncomfortable sitting opposite of me for 45 minutes so when she saw her friends came, she was so relieved.

At the end when we finished our meals, she said goodbye to everybody, except me. Was that a deliberately done to ignore me? I have no idea.

Then as I backed out my car, I accidentaly blocked her car which was on the way out. So I moved back my car into the parking place and make way for her. She panicked and her car accidentaly collided with the curb causing some scratches to her bumper. I decided to come out and try to help her to align her car. But she drove off so quickly before I could do anything.

So this was bizarre but to say the least, I was innocent ! I think I was set up. It wasn't really my fault. I didn't delibrately end up with her one to one.

Gulp, I hope she doesn't think i am a desperado.

Oldkamhouse SG

Sometimes I think talking to ladies is something mysterious.

Me as a guy, I totally don't understand. SOme guys may just say that it is plain rude and some just totally write it off.

For instance:

1) A lady send out an invitation to all of us to attend a function. I answered to say that I wasn't free because I had something else to do. The next week when we all went out for lunch in the weekend, she invited everybody to her place for swimming (her own pool - she is rich btw) and she deliberately ignored me. I just don't know how i offended her. Could women react on so trivial matters? or am i just being sensitive?

2) Then the other day my boss instructed me to ask this lady about her work since she is manning a call centre. I could not understand the nature of the process so in order for me to do my work, I have to query her. Next thing i know, she got very black face at me. Then morning she came into office she greeted to everyone except me. She even invited everyone at her section for her brother's wedding except me. One weekend I decided to come to office to finish up some work. She was there too along with another co-worker. As i was coming into my cubicle, she couldn't see me so she thought only her and her colleague was at the office so she decided to gossip a bit. She was complaining about me always asking so many questions.

Then after 20 minutes i decided to get up (from cubicle) to the phocopier machine and photostat somehting, she looked surprised to see me, and became worried. She even came over and ask me "how am I?"

I felt a bit uncomfortable because she gossiped about me.

Conclusion - i just don't understand women. Why they get so offended easily on trivial matters?

Not4rent SG

no $ no honey

angel7030 SG

no $ no horny

troublemaker2005 SG

no $ get angel

Rock^Star SG

Yes just small talk and make it short.

Then in 15 minutes they all came and joined us. I can see she was quite uncomfortable sitting opposite of me for 45 minutes so when she saw her friends came, she was so relieved.

At the end when we finished our meals, she said goodbye to everybody, except me. Was that a deliberately done to ignore me? I have no idea.

So this was bizarre but to say the least, I was innocent ! I think I was set up. It wasn't really my fault. I didn't delibrately end up with her one to one.

Gulp, I hope she doesn't think i am a desperado.

It's not funny leh....the girl seems scared of you. Have you put yourself in her shoes and wonder why she reacted that way?

Oldkamhouse SG

It's not funny leh....the girl seems scared of you. Have you put yourself in her shoes and wonder why she reacted that way?

No, I didn't do anything. I just try to be friendly that is all. When she ended up with me one to one in that restaurant, all I just did was to be as reserve as i can but at the same time open to conversation. Maybe i was too over-reserved.

She did ask me where I work and things like that.

I think it was because of the odd situation that made her to try to be not that friendly so as not to make me think that I have an opportunity to court her or something like that. That is my perception.

Rock^Star SG

She did ask me where I work and things like that.

So....you tried to be friendly but at the same time admitting you were overly reserved. The effect of it was her feeling really uncomfortable. Girls hate situations like that.

Yeh, I think she didnt wanna give you any opportunity at all.

Oldkamhouse SG

So....you tried to be friendly but at the same time admitting you were overly reserved. The effect of it was her feeling really uncomfortable. Girls hate situations like that.

Yeh, I think she didnt wanna give you any opportunity at all.

Tell me about it. Story of my life.

It was a pure accident. I didn't want to land up in this situation either.

I thought the whole gang told me to go to that restaurant and behold I ended up with her alone instead. If she was willing to come and see me alone, that is an entirely different case. She also thought the same thing. We were set up.

But I don't understand her, she seems to blame me for the whole bizzarre incident.

troublemaker2005 SG

its normal girls may have pms - like me during photoshoot i show bulge, then when i try to go nearer to angel she alwasy whine and say 'yamete yamete'

Li hao Lim Matthew SG

Tell me about it. Story of my life.

It was a pure accident. I didn't want to land up in this situation either.

But I don't understand her, she seems to blame me for the whole bizzarre incident.

just buy a vietnam bride

jojobeach SG

I drive a very lousy old toyota car. The car was a 1990s model.

Old kam house,

There's plenty of examples out there proving age is not a relationship or marriage barrier.

Security is an important aspect of any long term relationship.

Since u cannot give what u do not have, it's best to establish Ur own personal security first. Then only r u able to offer security to a girl.

My suggestion is u find ur partner outside ur immediate work environment. And do not let your friends get involved at the very beginning stage. Introduce the girl to them AFTER, the relationship is properly established.

Sometimes, friends think they r helping, but in fact they make life harder for u.

Good luck.

Carworship SG

You have a job and a car which me a younger guy cannot have.You still can find a girl because girls only look down on guys who are destined to be a beggar.

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