There’s this girl working in the same company as I am but in
different depts. She’s a single 40yr old lady working in the HR
dept and I’m a 29yr old guy. One day I found out that she was sick
at home, I made her freshly made juices for a week and she texted
me that she was actually very moved & thanked me. (Our normal
way of communication is through texting as we work in different
areas of the same company)
After a few days of texting casually, I confessed to her via
text. Her first response was ” Are u pulling my leg? Do u know how
old am I? If you were to know my age u wouldn’t talk to me again.”
I told her I didn’t care about her age and she doesn’t need to tell
me how old she is. Ever since then, I would always find a chance to
pop by her desk with a smile and tease her a little. Our text
messaging became very frequent. We would call each other up and
chat on the phone for a while at night. We told each other to take
this relationship slow and easy so we can get to know each other
more and etc.
For 2 weeks, she was texting me a lot. From the time we start
work till night and we’ll end with a short conversation. I tried to
ask her out a couple of times but she says she’s very busy
especially near year end, she suggested that we could take off from
work 1 day and go out. She gave me a date but can’t promise me yet
till she confirms her time table. (She’s genuinely busy near year
end as she’s the manager of the HR dept and she is 24 hours on
standby to run errands for the boss)
I asked her out for dinner after work a couple of times but she
always told me she’s going out dinner with her LADY
friends. She seems to intentionally say the word “lady” louder to
make sure I don’t misunderstand. Even though she’s out with her
friends, she would still constantly text me and call me at night
before we head to bed. I got frustrated and wonder why does she
prefers to go out with her friends than me, it seems she was
playing hard to get. And her constant text messaging everyday kind
of made me even more frustrated. Constant texting in terms of like
every 10-15mins starting from 8am all the way to the night
including weekends! She would text me about everything she’s doing
and asking about myself as if we are both dating already. I’ve
gently reminded her that i can’t keep up with her texting at work,
she said to ignore her but the text never slowed down a bit.
Frustrated and running out of patience, I told her ” Stop msging me
again, I don’t intend to have a cyber GF.”
She stopped texting me ever since. She was absent from work the
next day. Out of concern I texted her & called her but no
replies. The next day at work, I popped by her desk to ask how is
she. She ignored me and looked very upset. I bought flowers to
apologize to her the next day at work. She texted me ” Thx and
appreciate it very much but no need for flowers and your juices. We
shall remain colleagues and friends and I’m not suitable for you.”
I asked her whats wrong and she kept replying the same thing. I
told her i know i made a mistake by sending that text that hurt her
and not to judge me just on one text. I asked her why wouldn’t she
give me 2nd chance. we haven’t went out alone with each other to
feel each other but her response was the same. I got angry and told
her its fine by me but i won’t even consider her as a friend
anymore but just co worker thats all. She replied ” Don’t be so
immature. thx. “
Next day, a co worker of mine had a chat with her. She suddenly
pointed at my picture in the company photo and complained why am i
so fierce and never smiled. Afraid of getting our co worker’s
suspicion, she quickly changed subject. Few days later, I humbled
myself and apologized to her. She replied ” Its not your fault, the
problem lies with me. Its just that I can’t find myself to accept
someone so much younger than i am and i wish we could chat like
before.” But ever since then, every time I texted her casually she
would take a long time to reply or never reply at all. Confused, I
called her and asked her whats wrong and we ended up in a very very
very bad argument.
Since then, I avoided her and stopped all contact for 3 weeks.
Then one day we accidentally bumped into her other at the hallway,
she smiled back at me and asked me not to be hostile. At first I
thought she wanted revenge but i emailed her that night to
apologize and she accepted it. We would still smile at each other
at work and greet each other. Feeling regretful and desperate to
rekindle the relationship before, I apologized to her through text
like 2-3 times on different days.A few days later, I texted her
asking how is she, she would coldly reply me. Feeling desperate
again, I thanked her for forgiving me and saying sorry, she replied
” Stop msging me this kind of msg, my bf is getting pissed off.” (I
knew she was lying cos she was out with a grp of colleagues at that
time.)
After a couple of days at work, we bumped with each other at the
hallway again. She gave me a nasty look. I told myself to forget
about her and move on so I ignored her since then. But at work
whenever she saw me she would do silly things like calling out very
loudly to a friend of mine, interrupting our conversation. I had to
pass by her work space today and she slammed her mouse loudly and
signed. When ever she passes the hallway, i caught her several
times turning her head to my working area. ( She knows its only me
and one guy working at that area.) I would find her staring at me
when I’m in the office. She would flirt with the guy colleagues at
work. A co worker whom I told him about both of us said she’s
obviously seeking my attention. I have no idea what does she
exactly want. A few close co workers who are friends with her said
that she’s already 40 and feeling lonely and that she’s extremely
short tempered.
Sorry for my bad english and so much details but I hope you can
get a clear picture of what i am going through now. The desperate
and negative feelings i had is gone and I’m my old happy self but
the things she is doing is annoying me. It seems the more i ignore
her the more she wants to grab my attention. Yes i still have
feelings for her as she is really a nice lady but her immature
actions are actually lame. I have moved on from her but if there is
a chance i really want to try to rekindle the relationship we had
before and progress further. I know I made many mistakes like being
short temperd and showing her my desperateness by apologizing to
her 3-4x before. At the moment I’m still ignoring her but i still
do greet her whenever we bump in each other at work.
I really don’t understand why is she doing this. Is she out for
revenge now? Or did she regret of letting me go and trying to see
what’s my response? Or is it both? I’m really confused.
Have u done some research about her? Was she married but
separated/divorced ?