My mother continues to make wrong foolish decision

dechang SG

I don't know what I should do to my mother who continues to make foolish decisions in her entire life.

Long time ago when I was still a kid, my mother is a very stingy woman. She is working but she don't want to spend her money. She will ask my father for money and still ask him to pay for all the family expenses.

This caused them to quarel very often and they eventually divorced. My father was very nice to give her the house and $200 every month after they divorced.

When they divorced, I went to stay with my father and stepmother and I couldn't get along with my stepmum. My life was very miserable back than.

Finally I moved back to stay with my mother. Life was better than as my mother gave me alot of freedom. But she refused to give me any money.

My very responsible father continue to provide for me and gave me $400 every month during my poly education while my mother refuse to give me any money except a place to stay.

She saved all her money and recently I accidentally found out taht she have 300k savings in her fixed deposit!!

I am her only child and staying together with her. But she does not trust me at all. She open a joint account with her sister about 100k together.

I have warned her many times that her sister is married and have kids. 1 day if her husband got retrechned or her children go to university to study, she may need money and will just withdraw out all her money to spend.

But my stubborn mother refuse to listen. She trusts her sister very much and say that she is very kind and will not do such things.

My mother refuse to put my name in the house as she is afraid that I will force her to sell the house and than give the money to my father.

I have explained to her many times that only 2 owners of the house agree to sell it than can the house be sold so I can't force her to sell it if she don't want to do so. But she refuse to listen and believe it.

She say she open joint bank accounts with her sister as she is afraid that when she die, the bank will freeze her account and her money cannot be withdrawed. She say at least her sister can withdraw the money when she die and than give me the money.

I have explained to her that it is ok to leave the money in her own name. If she pass away, I can just get a lawyer to apply for letter of administration to the court for the banks to release her money.

I have also explained to her not to trust her sister so much as I am very sure that her sister will not give me the money in the event that she pass away.

Again, she refuse to listen to me.

You all may say that its ok lah just 100k joint account with her sister mah. even if her sister take all away, my mother still got 200k savings mah more than enough to last for her entire life.

Now the issue is my mother is near retirement age and 200k is definetly not enough for retirement as she have alot of illness and spends about $500 a month just for medical expenses.

She don't have much money in her cpf account. It mostly been used in investments. She earns only 1.5k a month now so she can't really save much money in the next few years that she can work before retirement.

Considering now that medical technology is so good, most people can live beyond 90 years old so I don't think 200k is enough for her to retire.

I must admit I am not a good son who can't enough money to support her so she have to relie on herself.

I feel sorry for her just to think that 1 day her sister might just betray her and withdraw all her money.

Being a very stingy person, I wonder how she will react if she knows her sister withdraw all her money to use.

She most likely cannot take it and she might even commit suicide.

Can anyone advise me how I should knock some sense into her?

Hello Kitty SG

it's her $$$.

she can do wateber she wans wif it.

dechang SG

ya but she will feel very sad and may commit suicide if her sister take her money..

Mel.greywolf SG

Hi Dechang,

I agreed that it is her money, she have the prerogative to do what she like.

Sometime, when there is fear, people can no longer think logically. In my opinion, she is unsecured. So, naturally, the only secured things is money to her. I have seen a few women behaving this way.

So, if you asked me, I will say, shower her with lot's of love and care, not for the money sake, but because she is your mother. If she can sensed that you genuinely love her, and care for her, she may be more open to you.

When she place her trust in you, other things will also come. By that time, you can have the freehand to invest on other instrument, and help her do the financial planning.

But I hope you do not squander all her saving away, else, she will die a bitter woman.

All the best.

jojobeach SG