I am getting thrown out by my parents

Psycho Rin SG

I'm 20 years old and am currently still studying in a polytechnic (for now). Because of some issues I only just entered poly this year. But I find that I am not suited for this course, so I want to pull out before I become too committed, and end up with a fail GPA.

But my parents are very upset with my decision to further my studies in a different country, and my mother threatened to throw me out of the house.

I have less than $20 savings in my bank account. I could go to a friend's house, but I can't stay there indefinitely while I look for part-time work.

My boyfriend is in a different country, and his family is willing to take me in. The problem is my mother has taken away my passport.

---

What do you think I should do? This isn't the first time this has happened, and the last time it happened, I apologised to my parents and tried to remain in my course, but apparently it did not work because now we're facing this all over again.

Plus, I really don't want to go through with something that I have zero aptitude for. There is no point in continuing with something that will only end with poor results; also, it is still quite early, so it is not too much a loss if I pull out of my course.

---

Please, I really need advice.

Lokey SG

Why do you choose this poly course in the first place?

Since you have chosen it, why not work on it?

No one become a doctor, without undergoing lots of studies and practice. In fact, no one can achieve anything without going through some hardship.

You want to undergo your studies in the "different" country. So who is going to pay your pocket money and school fees? What can keep you from losing your interest in this "new" course?

Your BF in the "different" country is unreliable. Later, he sell you to become "prostitutes" then you know what is evil. If you all broke out in the next year, are you going to come back to Singapore. You will end up with no BF, no dipolma cert, no $$ and worse no home to stay.

Stay in your course and continue to study in your poly. Else switch another course in the same poly.

xiaogougou SG

Lokey is right, life doesnt give you much choices. You have to make do with whatever options you have.

Are you facing issues in poly because of your age? You are generally 4 years older than your peers there.

What were you doing the past 4 years ?

Psycho Rin SG

Many people in my course also want to switch or pull out. We feel cheated because on the school's website, the course information was misleading. We were not told that instead of having conventional exams, we would be graded according to research papers in addition to the exams and projects.

My course is Applied Drama and Psychology. I chose the course because of its psychology component, and thought I should be able to do fairly well for applied drama as well, since I usually scored well for arts-related subjects in the past. But I've been failing my last 3 research papers, and I cannot understand why, since I've been doing them with my friends, and they did fairly well.

Before I entered poly, I was actually in a JC. When my 'A' Level results didn't get me into NUS, I decided to retake 'A' levels, but my results didn't get better.

I want to study in a different country, because in Singapore, I can't get into any government-subsidised universities, and the private unis like SIM don't have courses that I'm interested in.

angel7030 SG

Dun blame the module lah, cannot study, said cannot study lah, me also graduated, go thru life like you, also no problem, the matter is whether you want to study or not, if you do not and lazy to study, you got 10 of different reasons, if you really want to study, anything also can pass.

Since you do not want to study, come my place, I train you up free, you can earn alot of money, then can go visit yr bf oversea. But then, when you are rich, your oversea bf will automatic migrate here to be with you.

Psycho Rin SG

How do I continue to study in this course when I keep failing my research papers? I keep asking my classmates how they did theirs, so maybe I can learn from them, but I feel like only my friends are giving me honest answers. If I force myself to stay in it, in the end the GPA still cannot go to university.

angel7030 SG

Aiya, can study mean can study lah, cannot study, talk until the cow come home olso cannot study one. Cannot study, try to learn a skill lor, like hairstyle designer, spa face consultants or my pub PRO profession.

xiaogougou SG

You see, you've already wasted a lot of time in your A levels.

Now if you quit your course, you'll be wasting another load of your time.

Your ex classmates would have graduated by now from Uni and are making a mark for themeselves in the working world but you are still struggling in high school.

I can understand why your parents are mad. They spent a fortune to put you through to your high school. You kept failing your As, now you wanna quit another time and they have to fork out another sum of money to support you overseas?

Who is to say you will not lose your interest in the overseas course subsequently? If that happens, what then? Quit that course again?

You know tonnes of ppl didnt really study what they liked, much less say doing the job they like. But they are doing whats necessaryn to survive and stay ahead. So should you.

Stop being picky. Wise up. Your youth is limited, and i feel that you are wasting your life again. You are also dashing your parents' hopes. Nothing will put you down if you set your mind to it.

angel7030 SG

Come, i am in need of a singapore gal to help to promote my business.

Jiani SG

simple short term solution: sneak back to take passport

long term solution: Buck up on ur studies!

killtheink SG

Going to another country is the same as running away from your problems , right into new ones. Don't make crazy and rash decisions like that.

Gerberad SG

my 2 cents worth of advice will be same as Lokey --> "Stay in your course and continue to study in your poly. Else switch another course in the same poly."

if you are interested to know more, u can read on.

to be honest, u have wasted 3 years, and inclusive of this year (since its already august now), u have wasted 4 years of your youth. u should seriously wake up and be more matured.

i have a friend who was in jc, she wasted her 2 years because she could not do well in it to get into a uni, so she went on to do her poly. she felt that poly is also a struggle for her and her results are normal. so technically speaking, she cant do local uni as u would need gpa 3.5 and above to enter.

but because she felt that she had wasted her youth and she doesnt want to waste more time, she continued and graduated. joining another course doesnt guarantee that u would do well in it to enter uni. if success is 100% , everyone walking the streets would have a phd and earn overflowing bucks.

sometimes life's like that. it has become a point where u should stop being fickle and just put your foot down and continue the journey u had chosen.

Gerberad SG

on top of that, going overseas is not the easy way out.

if you are not able to enter local uni, overseas uni have their requirements too. have u checked us, uk and aussie unis standards and entry requirements?

secondly, its the money. as a foreigner, u would need to pay around $20,000 per annum. even if your bf is going to provide u food and lodgings and basic neccessities, where u going to get that 5 figure sum from?

if u cant even get your passport from your parents, then forget about uni fees.

some overseas uni need u to take english proficiency test which cost around $400.

and u need to apply student visa, buy air ticket, student insurance, pay miscellaneous taxes.

all these takes time and $$ to process too. would u like to waste another year?

Mel.greywolf SG

Hi Pyscho Rin,

My Answer wil be the same as Lokey and others.

I have shared somewhere, in my first year with Ngee Ann, I almost gave up too. But my lecturer told me, if we have not put in our 100% effort, how can we really know if we are suitable for the course or not? If we put in 100% effort and fail, leave without regret. In the end, this quote has been the quote I apply in many areas of my life.

Along the way, I learned to understand that the process of doing things, is equally important as well, ie. endurance, doing what we dislike but still doing well, never give up, time management. Thus in poly, I learned that in life, there are so many things that beyond our control, and we just have to bite the bullet to do the right thing, and not the things we like.

If you, face struggle and fled, when will you learn to face problem and solved it? If the first 'up hill' come, and you give up, how can you face marriage and other demand in your life?

So, if you ask, my simple answer is, go slow on clubbing, movies, cyber-chatting, but read up your work before class, so that you can come to class prepared.

Frankly, project handling, and research skills is something very useful in worklife. We were not taught that in Poly, and we have to learn from trial and error. Be thankful.

jojobeach SG

But my parents are very upset with my decision to further my studies in a different country, and my mother threatened to throw me out of the house.

I have less than $20 savings in my bank account. I could go to a friend's house, but I can't stay there indefinitely while I look for part-time work.

My boyfriend is in a different country, and his family is willing to take me in. The problem is my mother has taken away my passport.

---

Please, I really need advice.

You can stop acting the victim now.

Since you cannot study.. it's time you stop wasting your parent's money.

Find yourself a job.. so you can stop being a parasite to your parents.

With only a O level... you will hardly be able to feed yourself. Taking care of your parents in their old age.. is obviously out of the question too.

Since your parents cannot depend on you.. they need to save the money for their old age.

Don't expect to leech onto your boyfriend's family. They are not your meal ticket.

One day, your boyfriend and his family will also realise what parasital girl you are.. and they will eventually also boot you out of their lives.

Your mom took away your passport.. so you don't become a disgrace to them overseas and make a fool of yourself.

Toiletries SG

Most importantly, take a step back and ask yourself, are you mixing with the wrong crowds/influences?

Aneslayer SG

What make TS thinks that she has what it takes to study overseas? Wishful thinking...

What would TS want to achieve after education? I dun think she really knows...

popmynutsy SG

i also same like u now doing ns only o lvl now staying outside alone with my friend rent a room together actually now u should find a place to stay first that should be the 1st thing u should do

fudgester SG

I will have to agree with everyone else here.

1. Don't blame the school for not telling you what the course structure is like. The problem is, you didn't ask. If you jump right into a course without trying to find out what it is all about, then you only have yourself to blame.

2. I see that your parents are cynical about you being able to do another course, and I don't blame them. First you did your A Levels, and you messed it up. So fine, they gave you another chance and are paying your way through a diploma of your choice.

Now, you're saying that this diploma is messed up and you want another one overseas. You see the problem? What's to stop you from dropping out of that one?

3. Regardless of what you see in the movies, life isn't all about 'follow your dreams, and all will be fine'. The problem is, you first need to know where your dreams lie. It looks as though you haven't figured that out. First you thought it lay with your A Levels, then you thought it was with a local diploma, and now you think it lies with a foreign diploma.

But look at yourself. You're already 20 years old, and your highest qualification is only O Levels. You have to be realistic here - at what point do you decide that you want to stop dreaming and just, you know, go do something with your life?

My best advice? Knuckle down to your studies and make the best of things. Work harder in school, meet your lecturers more often for consultation, and put in your best effort.

And as a final point..... grow a spine and take responsibility for your own actions. You are where you are now all because of everything you have done. You screwed up your A Levels due to your own actions. You chose the wrong diploma course because of your own actions. Don't blame your parents, or your school, or whatever; no one forced you into the situation you are in now.

So now go forth and do something with your life.