Should I move out of my house?

Princessisland2001 SG

I don't have a good relationship with my family. Whenever I am with them, my confidence level keeps dropping lower and lower every day. I am bambarded with negative comments from them every day. I keep getting discouragements and criticisms from them. From my appearance, to my personality. They will always find something to criticise me. I am feeling so depressed. And by the way, I am 19 years old this year. I don't have enough money to move out of this house but I hate my family so much. What should I do? And my parents are growing old too. I am not sure if me moving out of this house is a right choice, because my parents are getting old and it just doesn't feel right to abandon them. And I doubt my brothers would take care of them. I think they are the sort who would just put my parents in old folks home. :-/

Anyway, my dilemma now is, should I move out of this house, or should I continue to stay in this toxic environment? If I move out of this house, what would happen to my parents? And if I continue to stay in this house, how do I tolerate all these toxic people in my environment? How do I prevent myself from sinking into depression around toxic people?

Call4ljw SG

People must have faith in themselves. Ignore what others say.

If you're affected by what people say, then you have no faith in yourself. if you have no faith in yourself, then no one will. just be yourself.

MooKu SG

I suppose even the strongest faith will waver when one comes under attack everyday...

Turn your agony into motivation to work harder/smarter and earn more money to get yourself out of the situation!!!!!

jojobeach SG

Your family is using Negative Reinforcement tactic on you.

It is part of Operant Conditioning.

Unfortunately, in Asian culture.. parents teach/manipulate their children more frequently with negative reinforcements/punishments and not enough of positive reinforcements.

While your parent's has their heart in the right places, they are unable to positively express themselves to you. It's highly likely that they grew up with the same treatment from your grandparents.

My suggestion is.. don't take their harsh criticism too personally and try to look beneath the message of good they try to convey.

The world is harsh n shallow out there.. if u cannot be beyond just average, you will likely be disadvantaged.

I can tell you still care about your family..talk to your parents about their behavior and encourage them to be more positive when dealing with you. Let them know that you respond better to positive reinforcements and encouragements instead of negative ones.

icare SG

Have you already completed your education?

Complete your education and when you start earning big bucks than move out

Veggie Bao SG

Maybe you can try talking to them about it....

Find an opportunity and have a chat with them....

Say that these criticism has been discouraging and you hope for more encouragement.....

Try it......

xiaogougou SG

I completely understand how you feel and like you, I feel totally sick and grossed out of my family at times. But moving out is a big decision and once you take this step, you may live to regret it cos you may not be able to move back le.

Now, the problem is if you decide to move out, where will you stay? Where will you go? You are 19, i presume you are still studying. What will happen to your current studies? Are your parents paying for your schooling?

And, how are you going to support yourself? Quit school and work? Is it worth quitting school just to stay away from yr family? Depend on bf? Dont be naive loh, guys around your age either is go NS and at your age now you most likely cant find a guy that is dependable to take care of you one.

Dont be silly and do things to jeopardise yourself just in a fit of anger. If you want attention from your family, maybe you can try running from home for a few days and stay at a friend's house to make them appreciate you.

Want to move out also wait til you have the means to, then 大摇大摆 walk out and throw the shoes back at their faces.

Fcukpap SG

moving out provided if you have the capability to be independent than due to some emotional or family problems.

JerryJan SG

last time I also feel depressed at home

my solution is to accept marriage proposal & get out of that house

anywhere is definitely better den staying there kena torture mentally

xiaogougou SG

People oni 19 nehh ... accept simi marriage proposal lah ?

Your this proposal is Not Applicable lahh ~~~

[imdestinyz] SG

TS u are probably taking their comments and criticisms too personally already. Although parents do love their kids, many of them does not know how to show it properly and as wad jojobeach has said, it just so happens to be part of asian culture that negative comments are used more than positive encouragement. The thing is, however negative the comments can be, it ultimately depends on how you take it and how you see it. Try not to be too personally affected by it.

And as for mr jerry jan - she's only 19, you want her to get married so early?

Hwaimeng SG

I am 19 years old this year. I don't have enough money to move out of this house

you already know the answer yrself.

Dr Language SG

All teenagers suffer the same predicament as you do. But as your parents age and when you start working, they will start to respect your space. And if you do get married later on, you will be moving out with your spouse.

This is all just a phase. When you look back you will laugh it off.

Seriously you're only 19, just tolerate your parents, its not like you are in prison or stuck in some concentration camp. At least you got home cook food, roof over your head and clothings.

JerryJan SG

And as for mr jerry jan - she's only 19, you want her to get married so early?

me is auntie Jan

I got fren got married at age 16 even

Loor SG

Other than some of the other good tips here....maybe try and do more things out of the house more? Hobbies, study or whatever. So you don't have to tahan the bombardment at home all the time.

Hwaimeng SG

me is auntie Jan

I got fren got married at age 16 even

yes you can marry at age 16 but without the married cert.

Govment dont allow age 16 and below, if im not wrong its 18 and above

my friends 21(male) married 16(female) due to short gun, hold the cem but without legal wed paper.-

in the law their are not married.

angel7030 SG

me is auntie Jan

I got fren got married at age 16 even

huh? people still dunno my auntie ar?? respect ok

angel7030 SG

Hmmm..TS sound like a gay to me.

Lokey SG

Why dont you try to understand their negative comments and correct yourself?

I am sure they wouldnt tell you to keep your hair long enough to cover your face. Or quite school and stop studying. Or come back in the morning instead of being 12am...

Aneslayer SG

I see a one way comm... Happens to traditional families. There are times I run away from my mum at hearing or sight of her. I'm married and she's living UNDER me mind you. I presume you are a man. Are you man enough to take the abuse and still live the life you chose? Make it or have a breakdown.