Hi all. I am in JC 2 this year and I am facing lots of pressure,
some of which are self-imposed and some of which are from the
college itself. In recent days, I find myself having lots and lots
of difficulties trying to catch up with my work and revising for
the tests (which happen so often I can't even decide whether to
study for my test or do my assignments)
Last week, I had a test to study for and I completed the
assignments for the past week. But when I came home to do revision,
I fell asleep after reading 1-2 pages and this happened for the
entire week. I can't help falling asleep and I don't know why.
Usually, I try to tahan but that week, it was really really
unproductive. So I delayed the test and now I have MORE tests
coming up and the previous week's work was further delayed.
Sometimes I really want to end all this because the amount of work
seems endless and I feel so strangled. I do the assignments, then
there are more. When I study for the tests, but have no time to do
the assignments. Whn I try to do the assignments to catch up in
tutorial classes, but have to sacrifice studying for the tests and
ended up getting bad grades for them. I had thoughts of getting
retained when I was in JC1 but I got a strings of Bs in the promos
so I did ok.
Every time I step into the school, I feel so much pressure and
the tutors will go,"If u can hand in your assignments by today, it
means you have managed your time well." And for people like me who
may have difficulties coping with the tests(which take place
VIRTUALLY EVERY WEEK), I feel so discouraged by the fact that I
still have to do the assignments, revise for tests, and to make it
worse, re-read the notes because most of the time, I process things
so slowly in lectures. But when I am at home, studying at my own
pace, I start to enjoy the learning process more than in school,
where things are so fast-paced and people so kiasu (typical of
everyone in JC, so cant blame anyone).
I used to enjoy learning a lot but ever since I got into JC, I
am finding studying, revising a chore because time seems to
fly. I have a phobia of the college itself and sometimes I
wonder whether JC is still the thing for me or not (I did farely
well for O level so I didnt give a second thoughts to applying for
a JC). Now I am starting to think if I should go to a poly and
trying to figure out if I am having such thoughts because of the
pressure I have or whatsoever. I dont know, but failing so many
tests sometimes make me so discouraged that I go home feeling all
so tired.
I once asked a friend what's the use of having so many tests so
often when u have to really really find time to accomodate all the
revision on the sidelines of homework, reading of notes, etc.
Getting another bad grade just adds to your frustration. When I
approached the tutor about my problems, they say I appear "OK" and
"you are doing ok". I do look OK on the surface but deep down I am
like a mess. I need advice on what I should do or whether I am sick
of JC, or the inability to cope. Thanks for enduring this long
windy post.