issue with my brother

likeyou SG

Hi ts, why not put your money in saving account?

When you need it, go to atm and withdraw.

That way, yr bro will have no chance to take money from you.

Darkness_hacker99 SG

have monopoly money? put $5000 inside and wait for him.

theWEIRDme SG

u go exchange SGD to vietnam dongs (: 1SGD is about 16.5k dongs (:

Veggie Bao SG

Very strange.....

This is unusual.......

But from what you are saying, I am having a hint that this is an issue about how people perceive money........and how money is handled in the family......

For instance you said he helped you buy a laptop, but he earned $100 from that ?

Although in different families there might be different values, I would feel uncomfortable with that. In my family, nobody would be earning any money or any "commission" from such kinds of help. It is a taboo to earn money from one family member to another.

From what you have described, I believe this may be the root cause of the problem.

Somehow your brother does not have the sharing spirit. Does not perceive or understand about family unit in relations to money.

That is why he wanna earn $100 cut from the laptop deal, and also this may be the reason why he wanna steal money from you. Because he sees and perceive things differently. He thinks you are a target and he can take the money from you and then put it in his pocket. Actually it is your parents money, which is his parents money, which is his family money also indirectly.

Another thing you mentioned is that he does not support anybody but himself.

I do not know about this for sure, but if your parents is not very rich, actually the working children should send some portion of the earned money to the parents. This is happening in my family. It is a sign of piety, as a symbolism, as well as for practical reasons.

It is not good that your brother does not send any money to your parents, wants to earn $100 cut from a laptop deal for himself, and sneaks in to take money out of your wallet.

It is not good in the sense that the way he perceive money or how to treat money within the family is too individualistic.

If you are not able to fully digest what I am trying to say,

Try to talk to your parents.

This is not something you can talk to him or make him understand.

Firstly, it is a fundamental issue. He needs someone who is older, wiser, and someone he will listen to. If you talk to him, you wont be able to fully convey the concerns, because you yourself lack the maturity, and secondly, he himself will not fully understand or be willing to accept or listen to you, especially since you are younger.

But you need to be realistic also, because even if your parents step in and have a deep talk with him........this kind of issue is related to someone's views and someone's inner character.....it is hard to change.......so be prepared that he may not change much........maybe just little bit only.......

From your part and your family's part.....just try to encourage and display more sharing.......that may help a little bit also....

jojobeach SG

hello everyone,

just something i would like you to give your opinion/advice about, because it has been going on for quite some time now, and i believe it is time to address this problem.

for the past 5 months or so, my elder brother has been coming into my room, searching for my wallet (i know this cus he usually walks into my room when im using the computer, starts some random conversation as he walks around my room and checking out what was on my table/opening my school bag), when he does eventually find it, he would take some money out of my wallet without my permission. the approx. amount which i think he had taken from me is about $100, if not more.

and to dismiss the possibility of my money (though technically its my parents' money) vanishing into thin air by itself, i have hidden my wallet in my room. during the time it was hidden to the time i took it out, the amount remained the same.duh. -_-"

to prove my other hypothesis, which was the possibility of my brother stealing from me. i had hidden the wallet under my school bag, and then deliberately shown him where the wallet was when he was in my room.

just this morning, he sneaked into my room while i was asleep, but unforunately for him, the squeaky sound produced by the door as he entered woke me up. i kept my eyes shut, while occassionally opening them to see what he was doing. and what i saw with my own eyes was him taking money out of my wallet, then continue to putting the wallet back to where it was originally, and then sneaked out.

okay, so you're on the same page already, what do you suggest i should do? or perhaps the reason he is doing it? i didn't want to catch him red handed is because i was afriad this would hurt our relationship, neither did i brought it up to him.

although my friends told me to talk to him, which im hoping to avoid, so that's why im seeking other alternatives.

Please help! :(

Stop abating your brother's criminal act. Taking without asking for permission is STEALING.

Your brother has skewed sense of entitlement over your belongings. Why, does he feel that he deserve the money more than you ?

And why you allow him to get away with it when you caught him red handed that day ? He is not respecting your boundaries. As long as he thinks he can get away with his act.. he will continue to steal from you.

Today, it's $100, next time he will be stealing your girlfriend, your income, your home, even your inheritance. why ? Because he can.

Family should never STEAL from another family member. But there are also family members who PREY on other weaker family members... this is the stark reality.

You should talk to your parents about this. Stop enabling your brother's stealing act.

He doesn't give a shit about you as a brother that's why he steals from you, why are you so desperate for his approval ?

Learn to protect yourself.

DailyFreeGames.com SG

Here's the way to approach the problem. You should talk to him nicely, saying that you realize he took the money but let him know that you don't blame him. But you must let him know that doing such things behind your back is not nice, if he really need money, he can ask from you. Because if you have money, you can help him. But if you really no money, then you want to help him financially also cannot lah. You MUST tell him, because the problem isn't stealing from you, the problem is when he steals from others, and he can go to jail for such things. You may give him a second chance, others may NOT! Secondly, what I would do as you, is to hide and lock away the wallet/valuables and prevent such things from happening again. Trust me, talking to him nicely and showing him you care for him despite what you realize, is going to build a stronger relationship and also to put him into the position for him to clear his mind and go the right path.

Aldinosaur SG

What is your relationship with your brother? All good besides this issue?

Well stealing is definitely wrong, everyone knows that. I think you should just catch him in the act and ask (nicely and calmly) why he is doing this.

Don't assume he's doing it cause he's a thief or what, for all we know he has deep financial troubles he has yet to reveal to you or your family.

JoeMamak SG

Yer can't even talk to yer bro regarding the stolen money, means u r

1) Not so close

2) Scared of him'

3) Easily manipulated by him

If u can't even deal wif him regarding wallet, next time when u all big and married, he is going to take yer parents property deeds n money for himself. Learn to stand up to yer brother. It is unacceptable for him to take yer wallet in front of yer face. How would u feel like if I do the same to u? Of cuz u want to whack me. Same thing here for yer brother. Wallet is very personal thing. If u allow him to take yer wallet, its like he taking yer diary n reading all yer private stuff.

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