hi i have been feeling lost for almost a month and barely
clinging onto life
the story began few years ago when i started dating a lady much
older than me. it was more than a relationship but a connection. we
were very happy for several months until i thought that i should
find someone closer to my age. guess i gave her cold shoulders and
became temperamental and took her for granted. she was hurt. i even
left her for a brief period when i fell for another girl. she
begged me. but i guess when i was not the one hurt i didn’t know.
thinking back, i don’t know what was i thinking.
my relationship with the girl didn’t last and i went back to the
lady of my life who was always there for me. still, i wasn’t sure
and focused on my work. a few times i made her upset by not showing
enough care for her. although i don’t show it, i always hold her
dearly in my heart, always thinking of her..i was beginning to see
things in a different light. at the same time, there are a few
suitors around her and a mistake i made caused one of them to start
going out w her and she fell for him. i broke up with her, thinking
i could let it go since it was i who didn’t treasure her. but i
never got over it, constantly overwhelmed by guilt and regret. i am
going thru what she went thru and more when i left her. a
realisation struck me that i have lost in fact more than a
girlfren, she was a companion, one whom no one can replace, one
whom i can never love more deeply. i want her back so much..
I am not going to say whether you deserve this or not, since
everyone here can see that for themselves.
What I will say is that you should stop looking at the past and
start thinking about what to do next. You can't change the past,
but you can still move forward in whichever direction you choose
to.
Get involve in something else, be it gaming or whatsoever, but
please do not randomly get another girl just to soften that
pain.
