He took your V or you gave him your V is all refer to the same
thing. You are adult le... need to start taking personal
responsibility. It doesn't mean giving him V means the whole
relationship will be perfect. He promised to take care of you, then
please, give him a chance to take good care of you by
1) Whatever happened in the past, it's already the past. Nothing
can change the past, but you can alter the course of future. It is
your mentality, your idea, your psychological, your emotional, your
thoughts that is powerful enough to make changes in our r/s. I know
how you feel about the "betrayal" thing, because everybody does at
some point doubt their partner.
In the past, I used to think like how you think. I can relate to
you in my own ways. There was a time where my girlfriend and I used
to quarrel almost everyday for god-know-whatever reasons? and I
think you experience that tooo... Now? things change for the better
after a good talk. Actually couples should focus the goods things
in a r/s, instead of having quarrels that doesn't make each other
look good.
Because your bf and you have been together for 7 years already,
I think it is now the right time to take a short break from one
another. Recently, I just broke off with my gf of 2 years... after
two week of cooling off, we're back together.. Things are looking
fine for me as we both use this two weeks to recharged on personal
life. :-D Sometimes, you should have a personal recharge time... I
do not know whether how much my comments can help you, but I hope
you do reconsider having a short "recharge break"... and also
evaluate the way you think about this relationship.
Ask yourself these few questions:
1) If I were to tell you, "There is nothing you can do to change
the fact that it has already happened", are you able to reply me "I
know I can't change the past, but I have the power to alter the
future".
2) Are you able to let go of the past and start everything
afresh? I mean it literally by forgeting all the quarrels and
negativity. Bad things should go to the recycle bins, while good
things be saved in the memories. It is ironic that the concept of
"how you think will alter the outcome of an event" is not very
widely adopted, but psychologist have proved that How you
think can actually affect the outcome of an event! This
powerful theory can be found in almost everyday life from
Educational settings to Business management. I suggest start
thinking about the good things between book of you. Right now, your
magnifying glass is emplifying the effects of "Bad BF", and you
almost totally forgotten about the good and sweet things he does to
you. Am I right?
Just start slowly to recall the time you both spend together,
those romantic moments that both of you shared and enjoyed. It
could be some outing trip or movie, dinner etc.. just recall those
moments together, I am sure you "at that time" feel very happy and
special! Small little things he does for you, also try to recall
it. In your current state of mind, If I don't ask you to think,
you'll almost always not think about the good and positive
stuff.
3) It's hard to achieve for some people, but this is important.
Are you able to lower down your expectations to zero? I mean...
with expectation, love will improve. But In the verge of breaking
up, I am asking you to lower down your expectations to zero.
Believe me, you will see a huge change in your life. When you
expect nothing, everything seems to be great! But when you expect
something, and it doesn't met your expectation, the world seems to
be a darker place.
4) Are you able to forgive him for whatever thing he did to you
in the past? I may not know what is happening between both of you,
but in order for a relationship to work out, "forgiveness" is an
essential ingredient.... Forgive means to truly accept one's
apology and regain confidence in that person. Are you able to
forgive him?
If you really want to continue this relationship, then you'll
need to learn how to forgive him.
Best Regards,
Chin Seng
Homework
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