okay, i have a gf for 1 1/2 years now. and from the start until
now, she have never treated me nice or right.But in the past i
usually tolerated it, for i love her alot and i believe deep down
she loves me too, but now, im emotionally drained.
In the beginning, while she was with me, she kept thinking of
her ex-bf and need him to stay by her side like SMS her meet her
often etc. to the extend of sending him i miss you so much kinda
msges. At those times i wanted to leave, but she kept holding me
back, saying she need me as well. We quarreled and fought over this
but in the end, she gave him up, in that romantic kind of way. but
theyare neutral friends now.
After that issue, i thought everything was going to be fine but
it was just the beginning. As we grew closer, her true colours came
out. She would attitude me or not respond to me talking to her for
absolutely no reason or for minor reasons like for eg. me giving
her the wrong color of the towels or if i cant hear what she is
saying cause sometimes she talks really dam soft. We have
occasional quarrels over this and the cycle always goes like this.
She starts throwing tantrum > me Confronting her > She throws
even bigger longer tantrums > until i have to apologize and wait
for 3-7days til she cools down.
Then, she got a part time job at the same company as me, but
different working locations. Every morning, she would throw tantrum
and give attitude because i am not ready preparing, or prepare
slower than her every morning (She lives with me). and the reason
she gives is I didnt pack her bag for her, or she is tired sleepy.
Until i had enough, i started feeling numb and not giving a dam.
but she noticed my change, i really wanted a clean break but she
kept threatening me with suicide and stuff like that and kept
forcing me to take off to accompany her but i really cant.until i
quitted my job as i cannot take the pressure.
After that incident, feeling guilty of the way i treated her
during the phase in the above paragraph, i treated her even better
than i used to, and no confrontation nothing if she starts her
nonsense. i just 'bao rong' embrace her. And she had never done
anything for me before, even if i ask her to pass me a tissue
something like that. this continued until recently.
Today. For the past week she've been throwing tantrums in the
morning, like that period of time she went to work (now shes
studying) and throwing tantrums after school for being tired. i
really cant take this anymore. until a few days ago, i couldnt take
off on her off day(from private school), she started contacting her
another ex-bf whom they had a physical r/s with. meaning just
sexual. I couldnt take it. As i do not have any evidence, (she
would say, we are just friends what now.) i cant say anything, but
because of me not being able to accompany her for one day. she have
to do this to me. Dear forummers, what should i do????
SERIOUS ANSWERS ONLY PLS...
I will brutely honest: as much as you have
painted yourself an exiguous picture of a victim suppressed by his
gf - there are also significant returns you are getting out of this
- a 'familiar' relationship of 20 months living together and
probably regular sex. Seemed like you are experiencing poignant
frustration and your so called 'sacrifices' are somewhat 'a bad
trade off', which you probably find that this deal might be
'overvalued' and you paying more than the initial
forecast.
Therefore, even subjected to overwhelming trivial nonsenses
hurled by her, or greater issues with her ex, you quietly accept
the outcome (although not without protest or reluctancy).
Blatantly, you are not happy in this relationship. But you
accepted anyway.
Her series of tests are not random; these are exhibited because
the men before you largely conditioned her to believe that it is
her prerogative to behave as such; in simple, she is 'rewarded' in
some ways for displaying bad attitude and reinforced by unconscious
habit and personality - changing that might be akin to moving
mountains. You can start by taking away small stones, but chances
are, you might have died of heatstroke before you can witness
transformation.
You have to decide if this is an issue with compatibility or you
are simply staying put because of habitual reasoning. Only then,
you will know what you want to do about it and figure out your
plans on how to go about executing it. 
Cheers
