Urges about my best gal-friend. Pls Help

last SG · 2010-12-16T01:46:42+00:00

that's also true love, Love money is also love mah

Undiscoveredsoul98 SG

I have a very best gal-friend whom I've known 6 years. We hang out together sometimes and we got along pretty well. I know that she really cares so much for me and treasured our friendship. And I do too.

But I got one problem. Most of the times, I do have sexual thoughts about her. I know if I touch her or tell her about it, I will lose a great friendship. But I cant do much about it. I got turned on just by being with her and she is always wearing a low cut top. Tell me what am I supposed to do?

Well, I do had feelings for her last year and confessed to her. But she rejected me saying that its too risky to go further as she does not want to lose me a her friend. I dont hate her for that, I respect her decision. Now it seems that my feelings for her had fade away, but now the lust I have for her is growing.

In order to save the friendship I gotta deprive myself. But I know I cant just do it to satisfy my urge and I dont wanna harm her in any way. I've even made a promised to myself to always protect her from any harm. And she knows that I've always protect her.

I wished I could tell her but I know its a suicide and she's gonna hate me for it. She already has bf and she is not the kinda girl who's into these friends with "benefits". I still want her friendship but at same I just cant help it but feel like touching her.

Is it normal for us to get sexually aroused with an opposite sex friend?

Please help

Forbiddensinner SG

Is it normal for us to get sexually aroused with an opposite sex friend?

Please help

Try to keep away from her ba.

If her bf finds out that you asked her to be your gf before, it is going to get worse for you.

There is always the day when friendship ends with everyone going their way with their families, especially for those of opposite gender.

R3SsH|n SG

you just need a girlfriend.

Aquatic Crystal SG

She has already made her stand very clear and she is also attached. Why don't you mix with other girls and who knows, when the right one comes along, your lust for your best friend will just fade away.Maybe cut down on being with her too much.You know you are only feeding the lustful desires in you when you are with her often. Also, occupy your mind with other better activities, people & things so that your focus will not be on her solely. Some people are meant to be just friends, you have to learn to accept this truth or be hurt in the end.

chefmac.org SG

you need a break... see the world, know more friends, do community services and your circle of life will opened up~

dechang SG

wait for her to break up with bf

Undiscoveredsoul98 SG

i've thought abt avoiding her and see her a little. problem is, we are workin in a same place and if i ignore her a bit, she will get very upset with me. she said she cant stand it if we dont talk to each other.

Hugh Hefner SG

Is it normal for us to get sexually aroused with an opposite sex friend?

Please help

I ask you this question: Do you really really like her or you only want to lust for her? If you are interested for sex then forget it. You will surely ruin your friendship.

On the other hand if you really like her - then this may be unfortunate because she is not ready to give up her bf for you. Perhaps you can wait for the right timing. She may decide to break up then you be there for her. Or if you are the risk taker type, you go after her but beware, the perils are there.

You have got to do some reflection. Make a list of what you like about her. Do you both have anything in common? If the whole list consist of lust, then this means you can again forget it.

Undiscoveredsoul98 SG

what i like about her is that she makes me feel appreciated. so many girls i know in my life, only she cares about my well being. only she still show interest in chatting and going out with me. she give me a very good reason to respect and treat girls nicely. but now, its only her whom i treated with respect. other girls dont get the same thing. not say i bully or hit other girls but i dont give them attention like I did for my dearest gal buddy.

Aquatic Crystal SG

I ask you this question: Do you really really like her or you only want to lust for her? If you are interested for sex then forget it. You will surely ruin your friendship.

You have got to do some reflection. Make a list of what you like about her. Do you both have anything in common? If the whole list consist of lust, then this means you can again forget it.

Absolutely agree with you. Lust & love must be clearly sorted out.

troublemaker2005 SG

hey man, lonely can pm me

Uncertain SG

Just get away from her. If she ask why, explain to her that your feeling for her is back and you don't wanna get too emotionally involved with her. Tell her you need more time to get over her and I believe she will oblige.

Fugazzi SG

Ts,

It is cos all that you see is not a human being, and sadly repressed sex is what it is all about.

Till that is resolved, running away is not the solution but rather understanding the lack of ... another gal or even a prospective gal friend, it is bound to be like that.

I dont know how old u are and it is understandable and yet woefully insulting to see another human being as a means to one's end. Sex is healthy, sexuality is sickness!

Noodley SG

Get counselling!!!! Tomorrow wake up early and head down to the nearest polyclinic.. very cheap one, consultation fee only a few dollar, tell them your situation and ask them for advice, they will likely book an appointment for you at a local hospital, after which they will print a slip for you to know where to go for the follow up and what time it will be.. go for the follow up, which is likely to be a counselling session.. it may be in a group or a one to one counselling... tell them all your feelings even if you don't tell them you will still need to pay so no need shy just bomb everything... after that they will nod their head and give you some pill then you can go home as a normal man again.... counselling ftw.. no need scare this kind of thing nothing to shy about one...

ditzy SG

If she's attached, I don't even want to hang out with her anymore.

hisoka SG

There is something called self-control. Learn it.

Zacheria SG

i understand guys do have their “needs”, prob u shld divert ur attn to other stuff.. its not easy but u got to try… otherwise u will ruin such precious relationship… its really not easy to get a buddy and not to mention a gal buddy! girls are generally sensitive and attentive, so its very lucky for u to get urself associate with a gal buddy… i just got to emphasize to u that u shld not let ur lust take over the true friendship!

trolol SG

ask her nicely if she wants to have sex, with no strings attached, like fuck buddy.

no means no and it's over, if yes, means you are lucky!

that is all

Fcukpap SG

if u continuously keep thinking along this line....u may end up with "molesting" accusations...

REFRAIN bro.....and dun think so much....if in doubt....move on

kengkia SG

Try to keep away from her ba.

If her bf finds out that you asked her to be your gf before, it is going to get worse for you.

There is always the day when friendship ends with everyone going their way with their families, especially for those of opposite gender.

if the TS have confessed to her before her bf become her bf, then it's of no issue