Should I call off this relationship???

last SG · 2010-11-23T09:20:57+00:00

If she would go for it without her parent's consent i think so should you.Her parents will have to accept you one fine day. Besides, we're living in a world...

PedoBear SG

screw her parents

if you and your gf got no problems with each other, ignore what everybody else thinks/says

Toiletries SG

Is their standard of living much higher than yours?

Later, turns out, it's like those dramas, there's another guy in the background pulling the strings and he's x2 the man you are in her parents' eyes.

likeyou SG

TS, really sorry to hear that if you really love her and you really never look back your past.

Just curious,

1. You ever being to jail before?

2. Even gang fight before and kill someone?

3. Your tattoos? Arms, legs, shoulders, necks and body?

4. You look? Long hair, eye very firece, green dot tattoo between your eye brow?

5. The way you walk? Swing hand?

Did your gf parent detest the above?

Yami king2005 SG

hahahaha. put tatto on face ? who dare to put?

i think why not ask ur girlfriend ? maybe ur girlfriend knows the reason but she just dun wish to tell ? or ur gf too chio got too many suitors ? like that oso very hard to get married one .

Yami king2005 SG

hahahaha. put tatto on face ? who dare to put?

i think why not ask ur girlfriend ? maybe ur girlfriend knows the reason but she just dun wish to tell ? or ur gf too chio got too many suitors ? like that oso very hard to get married one .

ChoCoChips SG

ok i shall add another drama scenario

one reason is prolly becuz they got someone else in mind.

u know, mebbe one of ur gf de ex left such a good impression
her parents treated him like future son in law.

somehow they break up liao but the parents still wan them to be together, cuz they think hes the most suitable one liao. so hor, they refuse to consider other potential son in laws, or the ex has set the benchmark liao.

so ya
u really really need to go find out the reason.
ask ur gf or something.

ps: wah if in the end darkie de post is true, then u hoseh liao. my fren in similar situation oso. hahaha.

Forbiddensinner SG

I've been with my current girlfriend for a while now, we are in the stage of planning to move on to the next chapter and live our lives together. However, I only know recently that her parents is forcing her to end our relationships since the 1st day i met them as they do not likes me without any particular reason. I don't know where went wrong as I've treated her parents with the upmost respect when i see them. And for the sake of my girlfriend, I've given up the vices that I picked up during my younger days (smoking, drinking and clubbing). I also earned a decent salary of more then 5k though I'm only in my late 20s.

Her parents even went to the extend that if she chose to marry me, they would try their best to stand in our way. I've tried to find out te reason by trying to invite her parents out for dinner her parents, but they do not even want to see me. And whenever my girlfriend is out with me, her parents would take turns to call her and chide her for being with me. As we are from traditional chinese famillies, customary weddings is must to my parents. If her parents strongly objects and choses not to even meet my parents to discuss the wedding details, I am worried that my parents would not approve to this marriage as well. I wonder what should I do. Should I just give up on this relationship or should I get on with it and put the marriage issues at the back of my mind and pray that her parents will mellow down one fine day???

It all boils down to why they don't like you.

If they do not approve of marriage only, they will not have attempt to have their daughter stay away from you since the first day of the relationship.

The only thing you can do now is to find out the reason. If they are unwilling to tell their daughter and you, then you must find it out from someone around them (Your gf's relatives, neighbours...).

In short, without the reason, there is nothing you can do. Looking at all the replies here, you can see that there are plentiful of possible reasons, and it is unlikely that you can narrow them down to the correct one.

Hugh Hefner SG

It her parents doesn't like you and you've tried your best to be nice to them, there's nothing more you can do. The most important question is, do you love her and does she love you that both of you want to get married and live together for the rest of your lifes?

If the answer is Yes then you should marry her irrespective whether her parents approve or not. They will soon learn to accept the decisions of both of you. Reality is, not all things work out in your favour when you get into a marriage, you've got to work to try to solve your marriage problems even if it means involving your in-laws.

angel7030 SG

for men, i know best, once they tasted smoking, drinking, flirting, gambling and clubbing, it better not to be with them, cos they tends to go back to all these vices once we, the gfs or wifeys, become obselete to them. I concur yr gf's parent action.

Good luck

Rainbow Jigsaw SG

During the years that you and your gf have been together, recall those times when you made her feel really really miserable. Her parents probably have remembered you for those times, than the better man you have become now. I assume you truly have become a better man now. :)

It's not easy to change people's perspective once they have fixed their minds. People tend to remember the 1 mistake made instead of the 100 good things that one has done. This is not an easy path for you and your gf. If you two are serious about each other, hang in there for the time being. You are relatively young, and can re-consider marriage when you have gained her parents' approval.

Wait till middle or end of next year, if both of you are willing to endure the uncertainty for the time being. Things will happen that will change everyone's perspective of the meaning of Life. Perhaps her parents would re-think by then, if they are an obstacle to their daughter's happiness in Life.

Rainbow Jigsaw of Life

Rock^Star SG

There must be something marlz is hiding and he's not telling us :)

Bennmz SG

TS, i am in the around the same position,

I got tgt with my gf for around 2 years. she is my friend whom i have known till now, a total of 4 years. we were extremely good friends and each other's confidante.

However, she is from a very traditional family and her parents object our relationship due to some problems. not money, not backgroud.

Last week, we broke up as she couldn't stand the pressure by her parents andher parents were very good to her. As she wanted to be a good daugther, she chose to give up this relationship after much struggle. I respected her, i convinced myself to be her good friend and talk to her giving her support while she is having her exams right now.

what i can tell you is, some parents will not change their perspective on certain issues. This is nobody's fault as the parents may grow up in that kind of situation, giving them this kind of thinking. We grow up believing that as long as we love each other jiu can marry and dun care other ppl's thought. However, the parents do not think that way. We were discussing that its the parents fault is wad wad wad..but on their side, they may think "we did this for your good why wouldn't you listen?"

yes its difficult, fight for it, but if the parents really cannot accept you and detest you for whatever reason, your gf have to make a choice. Its her. her family and her love. which one she wants. If she thinks that family is more important, then she will have to give up this relationship. Yes you are 29 already, much older than me, i am only 21. But i guess...this is what i have learnt from the recent breakup that...sometimes..its just 有缘无份. moreover, your relationship is already 5 years. mine is only 2 years. it will be different for you and your gf.

lastly, no matter what your gf choose...dun hate her parents or her. just stick to her for the time being to let her slowly let go. we are guys, should be more xiao sa. although now, everynight, unbearable misery still kicks in for me. but in front of her, be nice and at least..act brave and xiao sa=)

good luck ts. i support you.

Rock^Star SG

They've brought her up and they've every right to reject the bf.

Marlz1213 SG

Is their standard of living much higher than yours?

Later, turns out, it's like those dramas, there's another guy in the background pulling the strings and he's x2 the man you are in her parents' eyes.

Nah... My family is much well off then her family.

Marlz1213 SG

TS, really sorry to hear that if you really love her and you really never look back your past.

Just curious,

1. You ever being to jail before?

Nope

2. Even gang fight before and kill someone?

Nope

3. Your tattoos? Arms, legs, shoulders, necks and body?

Nope

4. You look? Long hair, eye very firece, green dot tattoo between your eye brow?

Looks more of the unfriendly kind

5. The way you walk? Swing hand?

Not the ah beng style. I can't possibly walk without swinging my hands rite???

Did your gf parent detest the above?

I don't know

Shorter ninja SG

This is not another case of Romeo and Juliet so nobody in both sides of the family has to die over this.Ok Ah Seng and Ah Ling...just go to ROM and get yourself married ,you plan your lives to fit yours and not your parents.

Bennmz SG

They've brought her up and they've every right to reject the bf.

i agree with rock star, is her family, is the primary place that she is in.

even if she chooses her family over you, you cannot blame her. not that she dun love you, is just, family is yi bei zi de, you are not part of her family yet.

shorter ninja, i beg to differ, i think being tgt, is not just two person's business, its sad that now, being tgt is = being tgt with the lady's/gentlemen's family

Rock^Star SG

wah dude easier said than done. The fallout in the aftermath can be tremendous.

Rainbow Jigsaw SG

They've brought her up and they've every right to reject the bf.

Parents need to learn and realise that they do not own their children's lives, just because they gave birth to them. Unfortunately, that is the mentality of many parents, and so their children have to suffer for their parents' inner issues of wanting control.

Rainbow Jigsaw of Life

Marlz1213 SG

To respond to the queries of some of you, I am not an ah beng and I do not spots any tattoo at all neither am I ever on the wrong side of law, other then the occasional parking fine. The only feedback she received from her parents form our first meeting was that I am a very quiet and reserved person with few words to any topics which I do not think that it leads to such a strong sense of objection to us getting married. I do fully agree with Bennmz that marriage involves families which I do believe that we would not have a happy marriage without their blessings, especially us chinese. The thought of me ending this relationship surface as she is under tremendous pressure from her parents which saddens me rather then whether or not is she worth it.

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